Thursday December 25, 2014. 5:36 am. Im up. Click. Gurgle, gurgle, brew, brew. Coffee. CHRISTMAS coffee. In a CHRISTMAS mug. On CHRISTMAS morning. In a house with CHRISTMAS lights outside on the eaves. And CHRISTMAS lights on the Dr. Suess bushes outside. And a big CHRISTMAS wreath hanging over the garage door. With a big red CHRISTMAS bow tied around the mailbox. With CHRISTMAS stockings hung by the front door. That has CHRISTMAS bells tied around the door knob. With a CHRISTMAS tree decorated with CHRISTMAS lights and CHRISTMAS bulbs and CHRISTMAS ornaments. With CHRISTMAS presents underneath. Wrapped in CHRISTMAS wrapping paper, and CHRISTMAS bows. Quick check of the handy dandy digital (That I got last CHRISTMAS) thermomerter....51.3 CHRISTMASY degrees. CHRISTMAS shorts, officially licensed CHRISTMAS wife beater, (That I received as a gift last CHRISTMAS.) and fuzzy slippers that look like crappie, that I also got last CHRISTMAS. So, with a cowboy CHRISTMAS cup of CHRISTMAS coffee in a CHRISTMAS mug in my hand, its out the slider, past the 1 1/2 thirty five gallon cans of unpopped popcorn (We used half a can to string a CHRISTMAS popcorn garland around the CHRISTMAS tree.), past the 135 bags of organic pinecones (We used to have 137 bags, but Gracies Corner Candle Shoppe used a bag for scented CHRISTMAS fire starters, and Cathy used a bag for making CHRISTMAS pinecone wreaths and whatnot.) past the 144 empty cans of wasp and hornet spray (I want the castle stinging insect free for CHRISTMAS.), weaving through the Pampers Ultra bundles (Which will be given to the needy toddlers for CHRISTMAS.) with the corners cut out, past the empty 4 lb bottle of baby powder, (I mean, why be chaffed for CHRISTMAS?) waving to Jessy The Bunny Ventura, Bunny N. Clyde, and Zoey (Squawkus Maximus) They are all three dressed as CHRISTMAS elves. Through the screen door wrapped in CHRISTMAS paper, gleefully walking across the custom hand laid pavers to the comfy chair located exactly 8 feet from the center of the Alabama (CHRISTMAS Hats, CHRISTMAS mitten covered hands) River flat stone firepit. Comfy. Like a warm CHRISTMAS fire on CHRISTMAS eve while you enjoying some CHRISTMAS cheer. Marlboro Man shows me his new boots he got for CHRISTMAS, and CHRISTMAS morning has arrived at the Castle Pakenham. Which, by the way, will be hosting CHRISTMAS dinner today. Ol Blue, my beloved Louisiana Catahoula (Winnebago word for Merry CHRISTMAS) Leopard Hound is here. Whom, by the way, is actually having his first CHRISTMAS with us. How do I know thats what it means?? I know this because at 5:37 am this CHRISTMAS morning, I gently woke Cathy to tell her that Santa had made it to the castle. I ducked a genuine goose down pillow (She got as a gift last CHRISTMAS.) and several sharpened wooden spoons (That I gave her as an early CHRISTMAS present this year. They werent sharpened when I gave them to her though. I think she used the hand crank pencil sharpener she got 2 CHRISTMASES ago.) and heard her holler Catahoula! And Catahoula!! to you too honey!! Any hoo, hes here as well as Kate. Kate, my beloved Kate. Slobber slingin, Man trackin, Chew toy destroyin, Freight train snorin, 139.4 lb lap dog Bloodhound. She woofs Merry CHRISTMAS Yall. They do a fence line check a moment of silence by the garden to honor the fallen cantaloupes and thankful prayer for a joyous CHRISTMAS, then they give Shovelboy his CHRISTMAS present. Shovelboy is overwhelmed with their generosity. They return to either side of the comfy chair and its Hark, These Butt Rubs Do Feel Good, followed by The Little Butt Rub Boy Let us rub some butts barum ba rum bum. Hot cha cha cha X2. Hey everybody its Festus!!! Yay Festus!! Beagle Without A Cause, Raconteur, Reformed sunglasses chewer, Top of the list 50 Richest Beagles in Forbes magazine, My Buddy. Hey buddy whats up?? Huh? Ham. Huh? Its still in the ham, buddy. Huh? Probably tomorrow. Huh? Oh no, Ill make sure you get it. But you know CHRISTMAS is about sharing joy and celebrating the birth of the Christ child. Huh? What are you trying to say here pal. Festivus?? No, sorry pal, its not named after you. Kwa.. What? Kwanza?? Huh? Happy Holid... What the hell is Kwanza?? Youre the first Beagle Ive ever heard say that. Its CHRISTMAS around here bub. Huh?? Oh. Catahoula!! to you as well. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!! May all of you have joy and peace this day!!
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 12:18:14 +0000
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