Tim Dassonval.... Here you go champ... This is how I roll when these situations arise.....Cos Im a legend and all, you know how it goes... 😉 ..... I went on just one date last year with a bloke I met on Tinder from Melbourne... Yes I know, bloody tinder.... change that... I NOW know....He travelled 2 hours after work to meet me here for drinks on a Friday around 6pm at one of my local pubs.... By 8pm he was becoming a bit belligerent towards the locals in my pub, so I called a taxi and took him back to my place before he got the shit beaten out of him, thats how these big boys roll... Only 2 hours he had been here, ripper!! .... As he got out of the taxi and made it to my front verandah, he managed to pass out.... Completely starfished it... I couldnt move him for the life of me.... He was farken beyond help... Just at the right time my neighbour Josh - a big unit - pulled up in his driveway and obviously saw me struggling with this muppet.... And hes like.... Jules...You ok???? And Im like.... Ummm...yeah mate, clearly farken not.... He came over, picked him up and threw him over his shoulder and asked me where I wanted him... Farked if I knew.... Im like shit mate, just dump him on my bed for now I guess... So Josh flipped him back over his shoulder and down onto my bed.... I tried to take the blokes jumper off to make him more comfy while still passed out, but I gave up in the end and left the thing around his head.... It was just all too much of an effort for me... And Ill be honest... It was a Friday night, time was a wasting, I wanted to get back to the pub.... I did however do the right thing, and take happy snaps of the occasion to show all my mates and have a laugh over time and time again, as you do... Anyhow, I left him crashed out on my bed and hit the pub again with the locals... When I came home I crashed on the couch to sleep and let the bloke sleep on my bed, Ill be buggered if Im waking him up, Im thinking ... 5am in the morning he walks down to me, wakes me up and kindly asks me to come to bed with him... Ummm .... Yeah, thats not gonna happen champ, Im just waiting for you to sober up so I can kick you the fark out of my house so you can drive home back to where Ya came from... He must have got up a few times Im tipping during the night though, cos he took out 3 vases and 1 ornament... I know this because they were smashed all over my wooden flooring.... And what makes this whole story even more funnier.... I met a bloke on AMC here the other week, who knows my neighbour Josh, and he heard all about my debacle with this bloke from Josh in the cricket club rooms the very next day, who obviously couldnt wait to re-tell the story to all his mates about him being the super hero to a damsel in distress.... Hahahaha!! P. S. I smudged the blokes face out to save him any further embarrassment
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 03:40:14 +0000
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