To: All Subject: Please do not feed the security guards Dear All, It has come to our attention via CCTV that certain members of our head office security team have lost their natural look. Guards should have clear intelligent eyes and a loose fitting clean coat, this is obviously not the case as they now have glassy pleading eyes and tight, foul smelling coats. Therefore with immediate effect we have introduced the following urgent remedial measures: 1. Corporate Discount has been temporarily suspended at the local Dunkin Donuts, guards wil be fed on nuts and berries until further notice. 2. Staff are asked to please not feed lunch scraps to security guards or leave food on their desks overnight. 3. Fridges are to be emptied daily. 4. Guards to attend mandatory ‘boot camp’ to sharpen up latent skills before being released back to normal duties. 5. Corporate Security Uniforms will no longer be provided in sizes above 6XL It has become part of modern corporate culture to feed the security guards in return for tricks, petting and photo opportunities. Please, refrain from this, it demeans them and is obviously now affecting their health. Thank you for your cooperation. Regards David Baker Chief Operating Officer
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 04:53:19 +0000
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