To Stay at Home Moms Everywhere: Its funny that people care so much what one random blogger they never have met (or ever will meet) thinks about ones personal life and choices. I find it curious to think how so much credibility can be given to someone just by the fact they have x amount of followers, as if the amount of likes is somehow a currency of ones accomplishments in life. Amy Glass blog does not deserve a personal response. The reality is that there are people all over the world whos opinions do not match up with mine, and if I spend my life trying to defend myself every time someone disagrees with me, I will live a very stressful life. However, this does provide the opportunity to encourage those who have perhaps become discouraged through reading or even hearing about Amy Glass Blog. As I write this, my wife is folding laundry and we are chatting in-between commas and paragraphs. Our children are playing on their train table, and every few minutes voices are raised because one stole the others train… My youngest is crawling around the floor, space to space, trying to stand on her own. Yelling gibberish at anyone who will listen. I love them all so much. However, while I laugh at their giggles and their moments of joy, and I smile while I watch them bicker at each other about things that only children would bicker about; while I half block out their screaming when they are upset with each other, I think to myself: I love them so much, but… If I had to deal with this all day long, day in and day out, I would most likely lose my mind. It takes a special person, with a special heart to be a stay at home mother (and yes even though my rant will be about mothers, there are indeed men who attain this special skill). Not everyone has this skill or desire and so both parents work, and that is just fine. There is nothing wrong with each couple doing what is right for them. Although, call it a bias, I do still hold a special place in my mind for women who have the wherewithal to stay at home to raise their children. Obviously the amount to do is endless, even with one child a stay at home mom is maxed out. Learning to figure out her newborn child is not easy and is filled with more stress than even the highest level of the corporate ladder is… The worry of every bump, every rash, every misplaced noise, and the first time they choke on something… my goodness, those couple seconds are enough to age a mother years… You see, the stay at home mom has much more important things to worry about than whether that report was filed, or whether the boxes are checked at the end of the day… They have a little helpless person to look after. It is one of the only jobs in the world where a life depends on them being there day in and day out. And no, there is no one else to cover their shift. There is no sick leave and even on vacation days your husband doesnt neccessarily have the assets to feed that newborn baby. Stay at home mothers have the only job where staying in pyjamas all day and smelling like puke does not mean laziness, but rather, having a productive, albeit stressful day. A stay at home mom really has two jobs, actually I should say three, four, five, the list is endless really… Many have tried to calculate how much a mom would be worth in our world in an attempt to encourage mothers that they are indeed important. However I believe that these attempts really undermine the role of stay at home moms. As though the stay at home mothers worth is somehow determined by a dollar value. As if a rich couple were to simply hire out all the work a stay at home mom does that their children would be just as nourished, as confident, as loved when compared to having all needs met by their own mother. See, there is something special that happens when children watch their mother fold the laundry, clean the floor, wash the dishes, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc. (I dont think there are enough etc here). It is true, children watch their mothers work, they know who loves them, they know they are taken care of by their mother, they know that if they screw up they will get in trouble, but their mother will still be there to love them, to care for them, and to provide snuggles for them. Therefore, I say screw the analysts who say a stay at home mom is worth 100 grand a year, 150 grand a year, some say 200 grand a year… Your worth is not determined by financial measures, but is something much deeper than that. Your worth is Immeasurable, you have one of the most important roles… no THE MOST IMPORTANT role in all generations. Past, present, and future. Your role brings kindness, joy, and chivalry to the world. Your role brings love, sincerity, and wisdom… It brings caution, but also brings risk… It brings sacrifice, and warm heartedness. In fact, if there is one thing that the world is missing right now, it is more stay at home mothers… I guess even hearing about Amy Glass blog post really did bother me. Not because I give her credence or need to attempt to somewhat validate her thoughts as though they mean something, but because I know there are women out there who will take what she says to heart. Even though they try not to, they will be hurt. I simply had to say something to recognize all the stay at home moms out there… Now I dont think this rant, I guess you could call it, would be complete if I didnt mention something about the men who are married to stay at home moms. I would like to simply encourage you as well. It is not always easy to be the sole provider in the family, balancing work with family, the need for overtime to make ends meet, the need to help your wife (cause she needs lots of your help). It is hard to wind down after a hard days work and it is difficult to wake up early in the morning. But you do something that is unique: you provide for the one you love, and the family you love… You deserve respect for the role you play in your family and you deserve respect for working your butt off so that your wife can live her dream. I guess I would say (as imperfect as I am) to simply remember that even though raising children was most likely your wifes dream, that she gets tired and needs a break. She needs your help and she needs your support more than you need hers. Then… comes the second child… Calvin Goulet-Jones I have to footnote that people live their lives and make choices that are best for them in the time that they make them. This has no bearing on a persons value. There are mothers and fathers who would love to stay at home but their personal economics dont make it realistic to do so. They deserve respect. There are parents that would go crazy with one of them staying home and use daycares. They deserve respect. There are single mothers and fathers who balance it all and they deserve respect. There are couples trying desperately to get pregnant, they also deserve this respect. There are folks that want 1 child, folks who want 2, 3, 4, 10… you all deserve respect. As I am not you and I have not glanced into your life (nor have you glanced into mine) I say lets focus on being kind to each other, even if the decisions that others make in their personal lives dont align with the decisions we would make in ours…
Posted on: Wed, 29 Jan 2014 04:06:52 +0000
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