To: Whom I consider a very dear friend... If you are reading this Id advise you to brace yourself for whats to come! I apologize for not having mercy on life but what choice do I have when life has no mercy on me? So if your ears cannot handle reality them please stop reading this next sentence! I LOVE YOU bye↓ The fact of the matter is I can no longer accept being quiet about how I feel! Not showing no emotion towards everything that goes on! Around me...2me! Cuz of me! The definition of FED UP=\ Im tried of being surprised with tragedy& turmoil! Holding everything in. ..marking the outer circle believe that everything is alright or better yet....GOIN to be alright! When honestly& turely I believe saying that only brings more hurt 2 the whole situation when its All said and done. ....Over a small period of time I believed we live our lives to a certain extent! We do what we believe is right& we remembered by the things we do! Some things are seen & never heard &vice versa! Everyone goes by what they believe is real or the truth! Its okay. ...I understand I do.....but....truth of the matter is......its human. ..were only human! And it doesnt have to make sense ! Not even a lil bit.! Ive walked this land TO be who I am& only me.....nobody else! .....NEVER once did I portray to be anybody else! Just...MR.RAY CHARLEZ....MarkusRay Ray SNEED! I laughed. ..& made jokes,...turned smiles...opened eyes& made everybody love the person I am & have become!. ... Ive rode the night LIFE. ..enjoyed the streets for what Ive been through! .... My family is the most important thing to me! Part of my reason for sacrificing so much! Ive been so conservative& really I shouldnt have been! But it had always been me! Ive encountered alot of suffering these LAST 5 years & even still I continue to wake up everyday the same person! I had fun...enjoyed my people& when it was time to get serious everyone still thought it was a (joke) game! Rest assure it was never supposed to be fun...exciting. ..good times! Because taking care of mines have always been serious to me!!! I knew once nobody took me serious.....Id be gone for a whole minute! I pleaded with who I thought understood my situation! WRONG!! Even still I was me ! I didnt trip ...I just took it for what it was and ran with it...>:/ For reasons unknown! It wasnt until I went to my last court date and saw my brother for the first time in a long time that I start thinking differently! Even still I was me! I kicked it with him cracced jokes held a conversation with him while sitting at the defendant table! AFTER they read me my final sentence &everyone had left except my brother&he refused 2 leave me right then.......it was that exact moment that I knew it was real! He showed me for the first time in my life the affection that always had been there but never displayed or spoke of! Because its understood!-From that day on I realized that Im cared about more than I know! So I became entirely different from everything Ive grown to know. .....the streets!! Even though Ill never forget what made me I chose to put the future of my kids before me & my lifestyle!! Considering every circumstance I ( being me) still try & make everybody else happy! -Up until now I just couldnt grasp why this is happening to me...now I know! Ive always been more concerned with everyone elses well being & never stopped to understand mine......So when it came down to it, by the time I start realizing whats going it was already to late! I always seem 2 for get self! Cause nobody will treat self like self! And now that its registered and recognizable its still hard for me 2 think about myself through it all im still me! I can never be nothing but me& nobody else! I cant sit here and say everything that wants to be heard, but I can only tell you what NEEDS to be heard!! Whether you like it or not shit has to be said& feelings must be hurt to get some attention! ! Before you knew it was important it must have meant nothing! By the time u realize its time to pay attention its already to late! To get to where youre goin you must know where youve been! After seeing so many personalities Im glad to know Ive blessed! They say theres blessing in disguise, but I say the blessing is right in front of you! After realizing what you have& utilizing your strengths youll never reveal your weaknesses! True enough Im mad at the world, but above all else im really mad at myself! To be who I am& know who ive been Im proud to say Ive come a long way! Understand reality& youll understand a small portion of life! Theres NO mercy for me but its given day after day & the ones who recieves it never understands what it means....... Chance..... ........ R.C............
Posted on: Thu, 20 Mar 2014 05:45:15 +0000