To Whom it May Concern, I have known Trent for a very, very, very, very long time. About 18 months. During that time, he has proven to be so well known in our community that we have all chipped in to help him establish himself in his new career, whatever that may be. So far, we have enough for airfare, three pairs of hi-visibility socks and some K-Mart work boots. We’ve included airfare on the assumption that his new job will be a significant distance from home. A significant distance. Depending on how far you send him, we may also be persuaded to cover the FIFO costs. Well, if I’m being honest, the committee might be averse to paying to FO airfare but I’m fairly sure they’d provide the FI without batting an eyelash. Even without our generous offer, you would be well advised to employ this man, since he has every attribute you could possibly want in an employee: • Trent is consistent. You can almost set your clock by him. 10am is Hits of the Eighties, 1pm is Adele, 3pm is Australian Crawl- same song on repeat for three hours, at which time we switch to background music and loud conversation in preparation for the midnight Cold Chisel sing-along. • He is a stayer. Trent is always the last to retire. Every morning. He has the uncanny ability to re-invigorate any crowd that seems to be exhibiting symptoms of depleted energy. Nobody falls asleep on the job while Trent is around! • Trent is a team player. Especially if that team plays footy. He is also fiercely loyal. To his footy team. • Trent is a go-getter. He is definitely proactive in nature, as evidenced by has actions last week, when his wife admired a potted plant that the woman across the road placed in her front yard to catch the afternoon sun. Did Trent just sit back and wait for that selfsame potted plant to come knocking on his door seeking asylum? No, he did not. Because he’s a go-getter. • Trent is responsible. He only ever puts his empties in the recycling bin. Unless his bin is full or fails to produce the 3am tinkle/crash that has become his trademark, in which case he will go to extraordinary lengths to find room in someone else’s recycling bin. • Trent is willing to learn from his own mistakes. He once opened a fresh beer before his old beer was entirely finished. I’ve never known him to repeat that particular mistake. He was also quick to own up to his error and took immediate steps to rectify it. • Trent has a sense of humour. This makes him an attractive candidate for employment because he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Of course this also means he probably won’t take you very seriously either. But if you can manage to maintain a general air of jollity on the work site, you should be sweet.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Jun 2013 23:54:43 +0000
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