To all of you who suffer from depression: What do you see when you look in my eyes? A freak? A nameless being? Or maybe simply another face in the endless sea of people. What do I see when I look at myself in the mirror? I see pain, laughter, tears, smiles, fatigue, and endless energy. What do I do when the world I live in doesnt know I am suffering? I feel the scars On my heart My arms My wrists And I think back to a time when I was truly alone wondering the streets at night. The sky dark and stormy, with the cold rain falling down on me. It was like the sky was crying all the tears I was too afraid to shed myself. That was along time ago, but still I can feel the sharpness of the blades upon my soul My skin My heart Sometimes at night I sit up, stare at my window and cry for all the pain I still sometimes feel. I wonder if life is meant to be more then this, This town These people These feelings I am like a caged animal, trapped inside bars locked in, with no hope to escape. I scream, Yell Cry But no one hears me. I stand alone on my own little path of life that I have been on for as long as I can remember With a broken heart A broken soul A broken mind Still I struggle on so that I can maybe see beyond this world of darkness and despair, so I can see the world beyond, of love and life and happiness. So here I stand, a smile on my face, even though I am being torn apart on the inside. I will continue to smile, And feel And love And I will survive; survive to tomorrow so I can learn to trust again and this sweet agony that has been with me all my life will be dispersed Become nonexistent Gone No more. And I will finally. Be. Alive. This is a poem about depression called Sweet Agony. I used to be ashamed to talk about my depression. But the more I think about it the more I realize that I will not overcome it if I keep it hidden. I have had too many friends die from depression. If you suffer from depression and you are struggling, I want you to know that I understand and you are not alone. I know how hard it is to live with. Its exhausting and nobody understands the pain you feel for no reason sometimes. Ive dealt with self mutilation and Ive had the suicidal thoughts. Getting help was the best thing Ive ever done for myself. And of course having friends and a wonderful boyfriend who is there for you helps a lot too. I never thought Id get relief. Everyday is a struggle but it gets easier with help. I know its hard but its not something you can do alone. If you guys EVER need someone to talk to no matter the time of day, anyone is welcome to message/call/text me at any time. Suicide is never ever the answer. Please. You are not alone. You are loved.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Apr 2014 23:48:57 +0000
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