To quote Muirkirks most famous son, Borat, tonights Go-Karting was a *Great Success.* In the first race, John Greig lost a bumper (no idea how....? :-s ) and eventually had to phone the AA, Shawsy was slower than sheugh watter (again!), Keelan was mair o a drift king than all oot racer, and I won by long enough to boil an egg. In tepid water. In a draughty scullery. There was a huge collision on the last corner of the last lap, with a driver violently ramming both Greiggy and Shawsy, as if he knew the Marshall couldnt see him. It was probably that wee black midget Stig - and definitely not me. Race two was a bit quicker, obviously because we had warmed the karts up a bit... Scott Walker and Scott Robertson had a bit of a dog fight. A different type of dogging from that which they usually partake on a Saturday night. Shawsy said. Alistair was about as quick as youd expect if youve ever been in Timbermills to get a key cut, and Scott McKinstray said he must have got the go-kart Bowser burnt oot. He said the seat was nice and warm though. Next up, we had Barney, Dan Shennan and wee Turbo. No entirely sure what Paul was up to, but when I looked out from the viewing platform, he seemed to have parked up in the first corner, facing the wrong way. Can only assume hed stopped for a smoke, or to answer his phone. It couldnt have had anything to do with Turbo... ....or could it? Much like at the last WCTA day at Kames, Turbo changed the layout of the tyre walls to suit his own unique driving style, broke doon a lot, and went the quickest. Its worth mentioning he also put the Black Stigs midget nephew into the tyres, which makes that the second time hes ended up the worse off for WCTAs defensive driving style. Barneys laid back, slow driving style turned out to be the fastest. Or did it - more on this later. Finally, we had Michelle and Neil Craig. (Or was it two girls? Driving Miss Shawsy would have fitted in well here!) Not sure.... Anyway, one of them was trying to hump the steering wheel on the straights (???), but I cant confirm who it was. The Scores on the Doors were: 20.665 - Wee Turba (despite only finishing about 6 laps) 20.959 - Barney - or was it Paul Shennan? 21.678 - Scott Robertson (obviously fingering the float) 21.704 - Scott Walker (heard Scoot R wanted to buy a VXR) 21.730 - Burt (Im calling it another heavyweight first place) 22.262 - Alistair (either needs to be faster or heavier!) 22.269 - Greiggy (ha ha ha, cannae catch me!) 22.395 - Neil Craig (fastest driver from NC Autos!) 22.842 - Scott McK (the go-kart obviously sorted itself a wee bit, since it beat Bowsers time below...) 23.213 - Shawsy (ha, a mind you beat me once. I must have had a slow yin that night....) 23.962 - Michelle (fastest girl go-karter for the second time running!) 24.360 - Paul Shennan - or was it Barney? 27.558 - Keelan Brady (I saw Shawsy and Greiggy hitting you son, Ive covered their motors in brake fluid. Which I got from the brake lines I cut.) Hope everyone enjoyed it, Scott Walker suggested paying for us all to go to the outdoor karting at Edinburgh, so lets take him up on that. Until next time, Burt. P.S. If Barney or Paul can phone me, Ill give you my paypal details, and we can settle who came where that way?
Posted on: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 21:45:33 +0000
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