To say Im an overthinker is probably the largest understatement in the history of ever. I overthink my overthinking. Maybe its the writers curse, I dont know. (Maybe I should think about it a bit more and figure it out!) At any rate, today Ive been thinking a lot about expectations. Ive noticed a pattern in my life that Id prefer to break. With my writing (or my life, in general), I dont like to feel boxed in. I dont like personal branding or any of that crap. I just like to write what I like to write when I like to write it. Sometimes that means Im going to drop a vulnerable 1500 word piece and other times it means Im going to write a silly listicle about being obsessed with books (coming soon to a Thought Catalog near you...). I always worry (see: overthink) how thats going to be perceived. I worry that my audience sees me a certain way and I box MYSELF into that expectation. For example, I know a lot of people liked this page because of This Is How We Date Now and, while Im sure I will have plenty more to say on the topic of dating or technology or modern love, its just not where my heads at right now. And, I overthink it. I worry about being rejected or about disappointing people who found me through something a bit more serious being like, a listicle? Really? Jamie, youre better than that. (Im not, I promise! Im very silly!) Now, I understand this is largely my own judgment (isnt it always?). However its still something I think about. Its still something that clogs my creativity or forces writing out of me that isnt inspired or even what I want to say in the moment. I become entirely fixated on what my audience wants to read, instead of what I just feel like writing. (Ick, that feels pretty gross to write out, but hey, were all about brutal honesty around these parts, huh?) So, I dont know. Im not sure what the point of this is except to just share where Im at. Im finding that its cathartic to share these moments with you all. I never did this in the past, so it feels nice to just be like, HERES THE UGLY OF IT ALL. Im trying to break down some illusions here for you and for myself. On a totally gushy note, youre all kind of the best, you know? This Facebook page and all you little likes and comments out there in the world is such a light in my life. Just want you all to know that. Ok, thats it for now. Bye.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 02:19:14 +0000