To those of us who struggle with sobriety, we got this.. do not doubt your self and remember 1 day at a time.. The worst feeling in the world is to lose time because of a weakness.. I have learned in AA that it is normal to relapse. It is normal to feel like garbage after.. The most painful part for me is to have to look at these little round colorful chips and know they mean NOTHING because of things called triggers that we allow to rob us of our sobriety because we were caught slipping.. I have been waking up going to meetings at 7a.m. And have been on a spiritual high! Last night I almost gave up my time after a phone call and an email sent me to a dark place.. I had to pray and take a step back. I then said to myself if I can fight to stay alive for almost 6 years I can overcome and ignore a bottle calling my name when I am upset or hurt. You portray yourself as one thing when is all truth you are another. Until you walk your talk you will never be successful. I read the above statement last night in an email last night after coming home from one of the most inspirational AA meetings I have witnessed to date and it stung.. I know who I am and where Im going no matter what setbacks I may have.. I sat with my sister who showed me the positive within the negative of these two situations. Sis, you know who you are and what your capable of, so get up and make it happen! She said.. God has blessed me with the it factor and the only way I can make it happen is to continue to walk by faith, practice what I preach and apparently now, go to meetings.. I am not willing to lose another chip or lose time on my sobriety clock! In order for me to hold on to these colorful chips and time with my sobriety will be to avoid my triggers. My triggers are stress, negativity and failure. So I will continue to stay away distance myself from my triggers and people who cause them. I have to collect new chips now because the ones I had have no meaning to me because they hold no value on my sober stopwatch. I am still sober thank God and I will continue to focus.. My hat is off to those of you that inspire us and have done this for years!
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 12:06:44 +0000
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