Today, I am making a decision. For years, I have allowed my biological father to emotionally abuse me. That is no longer going to happen. I am no longer going to allow him to hurt me and make me feel worthless. He may tell all of my family that he does all this stuff for me. Well, my birthday was July 10. I got a Facebook post greeting. My half sister gets a gold chain from Italy. I dont get a phone call on any events. My wedding, I got a card with $60, yes, $60 dollars. He comes to Florida, takes us to dinner rushes out on us to go to St. Augustine to visit other relatives after telling his only grandchildren he was going to take them to the mall shopping. Never happened. Our entire dinner conversation was spent listening to him brag about what he has, vacations all over the country he has taken, he told us twice the story of purchasing his other daughter a penthouse in Vegas and tickets to fly in and see a concert. My children left feeling exhausted from listening to him and confused of his broken promises. Thats how my life has been with him. He helped me once in my life assisting me to move. And he embarrassed me in front of my new husband telling him how he was father of the year for helping me. Well, small price to pay when years ago I asked for help to pay for college and the answer I got at 19 was, I cant my wife will get mad. He called me a few months ago to ask me his granddaughters birthday, its the day after his. I asked him not to send her a gift because he missed his other ones the month before. When he came here and we went to dinner, I told him I finally became a nurse. When I talked to him few months back, he didnt even know I worked. The mental anguish that he makes me endure is unbelievable. Its not even the monetary, its the broken relationship and the favoring. And for those in my family who believe him. I dont care! Hes not your father. You dont know what Ive endured. When you call your father on the phone and he doesnt even know who you are, thats happened for years. Im not subjecting myself to watching him on Facebook anymore brag! When he starts promising my children things and doesnt come through, thats when I put a stop to it. Ive settled in my own life now. Im happily married to a wonderful man with a family that loves me. We have respectable jobs in our community. We have 2 wonderful girls that we are very proud of. Maybe my life didnt start out perfect. But, it is where I want to be now. Im sorry that greed has taken over his life, but hes not going to have me endure any more of his nonsense. I will be talking to my priest soon so I can come to peace with all of this and stop feeling guilty that Im not on a shoestring in his life. He has made me feel angry at my entire family whom I shouldnt have these feelings for. But, the way he has made me feel has had me pass my anger on. Its not easy to watch your father lavishly decorate your other siblings and leave you out. I havent asked him for anything other than help moving one time in my life, which he has made sure hes told the world. Thats his guilty conscience. I enjoy seeing my family members and cousins on Facebook, but please understand that I know he supposedly spends all this money entertaining all of you, but it doesnt happen that way for us. What hurt most was finally seeing your father and him constantly checking the time so he could leave to go visit relatives in St. Augustine. My father for years has been my stepfather. He has been there for me. Hes been there for my girls. There is no better man in my life than him. He was always the face in the stands at my games and continues on in my childrens. I have to let go daddy. I have always loved you, but I just cant have you treat me like Im the black sheep anymore.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 13:47:16 +0000
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