Today I attended church and what a service it was. Today Amazing Grace was played and I sobbed. Why you ask.... I used this song for Kevins funeral. As soon as they started to play the tears welled up in my eyes and Sharade knew with out looking and reached to touch my hand. For this song means more to me than the reminder of my lost husband. It is also a strong reminder that God left his flock and saved me. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day I was saved. A year ago tomorrow could have been the day I could have also died and this would have possibly been played at my funeral. I was given a chance to continue and live. I cant thank him enough for letting me do this. I am not thankful for myself but for my children. In saving me he allows me to continue on with them and helping raise them in to young men. I am strongly reminded that they may have had either of us. I can only hope that I can be half of the person he wishes me to be. It has slipped my mind but today I remembered a sad moment. On our trip to the Aquarium the teacher mentioned how you need to stick with you mom or dad, grandparent Or teacher who is leading your group. Cameron looks over to me and said but mommy I dont have a dad. I said yes you do baby. You will always have a daddy. He just watches over you from heaven. Today I have been having a bit of a sad day and the service lifted me up and reminded me of the sacrifice God made for me. A dear friend called me today on the most perfect day. Today I have been feeling a bit down and the call, and church added to lifting me up. Let me explain the call. She and her husband had recently been to a psychic. It took great strength to speak about what happened at their reading. Little did she know I truly needed this message delivered today of all days. The psychic described Kev and his love for hunting, his special friendship he had with her husband. It truly is info that only he and Kev would know. Kev wanted it to be known that he is happy and fine. He wanted me and the kids to know how much he loves us. He wants us not to sit and be sad. To carry on and be happy. To live life.... And that he loves us... So yet again twice today I was told and reminded about the importance of living life and embracing what we have. I am here to remind you that no matter what life throws at us; to keep living. To be thankful for what we do have. To love the life we were given. The challenges are there to strengthen us. Do not look at the mountain before you as a mountain or a challenge but as a way of becoming stronger. Dont question why God gives us so much burden. When you are weak look to him to lift you. John 3:16 God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that who so ever believes in him shall not parish but have ever lasting life.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 20:18:10 +0000
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