Today I attended my grandfathers funeral. At first it felt as if it were going to be one of those days, you know the ones you want to end quickly? It slowly turned into something ill never forget. I was reunited with family id not seen for too long. Most important for me my Brothers and Sisters: Brandon, Jacob, Haley, Brooke, Gene, and Jarred. Then once my Grandmother and the family gathered downstairs before service began the pastor asked my grandmother who she would like to carry my grandfathers ashes down the church isle to lay on the small alter at the front of the church. It was a force that struck me through the heart when I heard her ask me if i would have the honor of carrying him. I had been solid emotionally as much as i could but as I carried my grandfather down that isle today, so many things rushed through my head, why did i wait so long to finally go and visit my grandfather, why did i let things scare me into not sharing a huge part of my life with someone who clearly valued it. I was overwhelmed, I regret it all. I am so grateful that I did get to visit him twice before he passed though it was way to short and unfair in my eyes. I still got to tell my garndpa that I loved him so he knew that it was not him or my grandma I was avoiding for most of my life, and now carrying him down that isle I cant explain my feelings other than rushes of happiness and sadness coming and going, but I know my grandfather would be happy and proud that i was there along with his other amazing grandchildren and his beautiful wife to see him off. I Love you grandpa and thank you grandma for giving me this honor, god received a strong man today and I was blessed to hold him one last time. Surrounded by so many people in my family in which I had been disconnected I felt reconnected.
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 23:23:10 +0000
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