Today I had a conversation with a classmate and she couldnt stop telling me all about how she and her boyfriend had the perfect relationship. And the whole time I just wanted to tell her that there was no such thing. As a child, I despised movies like Cinderella and Snow White, which based happily ever after on the unstable foundation of love at first sight. Even back then, I knew that that kind of love wasnt real. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, because we are imperfect, flawed human beings. Growing up, I watched my parents make mistakes and argue and laugh and love through every obstacle thrown their way. They were not a demonstrative couple. They didnt hold hands or kiss in public, and I rarely even saw them do so. There was no need to. I knew, without words, without displays of affection, that they loved each other. It was in the way my father grumbled about Moms navigating skills on family vacations. It was in the way my mother said with exasperation you are just like your father when she saw the amount of junk Id shoved into my closet. It was in the way they stood firm against my siblings and I, and immovable team, the way they made us hug for 10 minutes straight as punishment. It was in the way they kissed goodbye before my dad left for work every morning when they thought we werent watching. So, no, theres no such thing as a perfect relationship, because were human and we hurt the ones we love. But real love is in the way we move past that hurt, in saying I dont care what youve done because Im not letting go. My parents have been married for 22 years now, and because of the manners they instilled in me I nodded and smiled and disagreed with my classmate on the inside. Because of their example, I want to love and be loved imperfectly.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Nov 2014 18:48:29 +0000
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