Today I had a hour and a half long session with a grief therapist. I am tired. Extremely tired and now I cant sleep. After it all and today being the 2 month mark the only thing I see clearer is I am a mom...grieving, I am a daughter...grieving, I am a sister...grieving, I am a granddaughter...grieving I am an aunt ..grieving and mostly I am a friend...grieving. And its so hard but I wake up everyday, I wake my girls, we eat breakfast, I take them to school. I try cope when I am alone. I try to talk but usually choke back my words. I started drawing again. I started writing again. I play music loudly. I sing loudly. I dance while doing dishes or cleaning. I cry if I am not doing anything. I do things to distract me from my pain....then I pick them up from school if we get to watch a game thats fun too. We come back to where we are staying (tonight its in OUR house) and we made our house home-y had supper and now I hear all our music echoing from each room. We all have our doors open ;) cause after today...we know its each other that is getting us threw this. I told my girls I am not giving up on me just like I am not giving up on us. Its hard. It really is. But I am trying ....and I pray. Btw, I need sage if anyone has any to spare. What I learned to today is I thought I wasnt trying hard enough but this is hard enough...for me. Tomorrow we will do it all again....oh and I made bannock today and incase anyone is wondering...I still suck at it :P
Posted on: Fri, 17 Oct 2014 04:59:36 +0000
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