Today I packed up my dishes... This was something that was hard - TopicsExpress



          

Today I packed up my dishes... This was something that was hard for me to do. These dishes have seen so many family gatherings, friends, and special meals with the four of us. I carefully wrapped each vintage plate, cup, saucer, tea pot, etc... I desperately wanted to smash everything that came from our wedding gifts... I think there is still some lingering hatred there... I composed myself each time I felt the urge.. I packed those gifts away in a give away box.. I calmly checked off each item on my post it notes..Even the bullet marked BREATHE... Ive packed our house 8 times- never to be unpacked in separate homes.. The division of belongings felt better once packed and sealed away behind packing tape and thick cardboard moving boxes.. A certain peace came over me as I marked off each one. A feeling that will need to stay with me in order to keep my balance in this topsy turvy world I have suddenly been thrown into. To brave by myself for myself and my two boys. I know its going to be hard. Its a good thing I like a challenge. There are going to be days I want to smash everything and there are going to be days Im GOOD. Im actually looking forward to this next chapter in my life- minus divorce proceedings of course! Ive made great new friends and have been supported by the best friends and family thus far. We only get this life once Im ready to live, laugh, and at some point to love. I still believe there is someone Im supposed to be with for the rest of my life. Im a romantic always have been and always will be no matter how many times I feel my heart break. I am reminded daily as my dear friend lies in a hospital bed fighting for her life, just by how fragile life is and want to make sure my life is full of love, acceptance,peace, and joy. I know I can and I will. My focus on my childrens well being as well as mine is my primary focus. I will continue to want a companion of course.Its just in my nature.Im a lot of things. Sometimes I get down. But I move through it and know that one day times wont be so uncertain. I see sunlight on my horizon through my Astoria rain.
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 03:34:52 +0000

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