Today I woke up feeling depressed. My house is a mess, its always a mess. Theres always a wall to paint, a pipe to fix, a floor to sweep. Two years without a dishwasher has left me with approximately 2 hours worth of dishes every day, for two years, Im just tired of spending SO MUCH TIME doing dishes! So I came down to a pile of dirty dishes, not a clean counter in sight, and about five hours of housework ahead of me (not including laundry). Were out of good coffee, and out of money for a spare-my-life latte (you know, the emergency days where you need an extra kick and pick up an extra shot). And oh, its so easy to just get stuck there. Somehow I managed to get moving (thankfully I found an energy shot from Melaleuca that did the trick!), pick up the pieces, and trudge away. Zion doesnt take naps anymore, and simply WONT EVER LEAVE ME ALONE, so by noon Im touched out, exasperated, and I just want to crawl into a deep dark comfy cave and remain there. Since I dont have nap times to power away at work, I have to spend hours each night catching up after kids are in bed. = no down time! Then Ben is off to work, and somehow I manage about 2 hours of administrative duties into the afternoon ~ between trying to keep the baby fed and the kids from fighting, it generally looks like me throwing snacks at them while they are plugged into the television (which holds their attention for approximately 10 minutes). We eat PB&J or Pizza for dinner (rarely do I have energy leftover to cook), which makes me feel that much more awful for not giving my kiddos a well rounded sit-down-together meal. It just looks like me holding onto sanity while trying to finish up administrative work and feed my children something, anything. Anyway ~ tonight I was putting Grayson into bed, and he said to me, Mom, I really love our home. And I kind of just let it all go. A huge sigh of relief. Because thats all that really matters.
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 00:10:33 +0000
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