Today as I heard the team make a decision to condition our Little B to get him off ECMO I got so excited and I felt as if someone had just told me he was going to be ok. . . Not long after I felt my heart shatter (a physical pain is no exaggeration) as they told me that his lungs are not ready and the circuit would be put back on 100% ... I sat in the back of his room sobbing begging God to shed some light on what his plan could possibly be. I called Adam who was visiting with the kids and like he normally does he put reality back into perspective for me. Explaining how Bentley is in charge and if he needs more time then time is what we will give him. He told me that i got too excited and when on a machine as intense as ECMO it is common for them to need to try multiple times before the can take him off it. Suddenly my frame of mind was changed ... From here our day improved. I was able to spend some alone time with my precious baby as he was behaving so well with no alarms or crisis! Docs and nurses werent flooding in and out ... I held his hand and told him how proud I was ... what a strong, brave boy he is ... How sorry I was that he had to endure such a struggle but reassured him that in the end itll all be worth it!
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 02:31:20 +0000
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