Today in Washington, Congress passed a bill regarding the usage of cell phones while driving. The unanimously agreed upon bill would strictly prohibit any use of a cell phone when a person is driving unless the phone has the hot, new app known as Cash for Congress. Cash for Congress is a game app($24.99 available on iTunes and Android) which enables random Congressmen to tap in on your phone calls—at any time while you’re behind the wheel—and ask you a series of inappropriate questions. If you answer correctly, you get a free tank of gas (not valid in Minnesota, or certain sections of Brooklyn, NY);however, if you cannot answer the questions correctly in the time provided, you get charged an undisclosed fee, lose your cell phone privileges for a week, and are not allowed to eat Beef Jerky again without written permission from the mayor of Boise, Idaho. “We feel it’s an appropriate response to the multitudes of individuals who do not take undistracted driving seriously, plus, it leaves more Jerky for the rest of us. It’s been scientifically proven by Underwearer’s Laboratories that people who drive while they’re on the phone consume vast amounts of Beef Jerky on their way to work—like nine of themat a time,” a congressman from a backwoods district in West Virginia provided. President Obama wholeheartedly approved the bill, stating, “People will never stop using their phones while driving in their vehicles, so what could be better than cashing in on it with funds going directly into an account designated for wild after hour parties for Congress. It’s most unfortunate if accidents occur, but hey, that’s just how it rolls sometimes.”
Posted on: Mon, 17 Jun 2013 06:52:44 +0000
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