Today, in an act of true masochism, I watched Noah with Russell Crowe. I was flying from Auckland to Sydney and my back was on the verge of giving me grief so I needed to take my mind off it. Noah did the trick. It is a film so awful, that more than once during the flight I said What the F#%K?! loud enough for the hostess to ask if there was a problem. I took the opportunity to tell her that I thought the construction of the Ark by stone Decepticons might have been something mentioned in the Bible. She just smiled and said Ah! Noah... I wont go into the lack of wives that the source material mentions multiple times or the startling lack of Noahs delusional mania and familial abuse noted in Genesis Chapters 6-9. But surely there MUST have been something in there along the lines of: And lo Noah did lie face down on the beach, drunk on the fermented fruit of the vine and verily did his lily-white arse gleam in the light of Our Lords creation. Im not sure what Darren Aronofsky was smoking while he wrote and directed this unholy mess but it could hardly make it more palatable. This movie only works as a pain killer by hurting you more than any injury could.
Posted on: Thu, 10 Jul 2014 10:27:28 +0000
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