Today in church, people stated allowed thanks- I was holding my sweet daughter and really never spoke up! I typically never find the courage to do things like this. What I want my church family and of course friends and family to know, as I was listening to everyone, I was holding back my tears, perhaps I was crying somewhat as I continued to rock my sweet baby in my arms. I wanted so bad to say, I am thankful for Jesus who died on the cross so that my sins could be forgiven. I am thankful that I am a mother of two very sweet children. Andrew was my first little miracle baby and Sadee, my second. This year is different, although I lost my dad last year, I was so sick during my pregnancy that I missed my daddy being around during the holidays, but I didnt notice as much as I thought I should. This year, I have missed him more than ever, which brings me to I am thankful for God that allowed me Sadee to heal my broken heart, learn to love and believe in GOD after I felt like he let me down in so many ways by taking daddy. I felt like I followed one of the ten commandants by honoring my mother and father very well, and yet, I was to go threw so much every day, every night, and weeks on end in the hospital, and yet everyday daddy and I would give GOd thanks for another day, but he took him in my mind way to soon. Sadee, was given a 10-20 percent survival rate after being born, not to mention she was not breathing, nor a heartbeat to be found, technically, Miss Priss wasnt with us at all. I was alone, because of it being an emergency C-section, well alone in the sense I was in this cold, cold room, freezing, looking up into ED the CRNA eyes as he was keeping me calm, and the prettiest blue eyes I kept thinking, just like my sweet daddy. I thought, he is like a young version of my daddy, and things are going be okay. That moment, I prayed GOD please, please, I lost my daddy, we tried for 8 years to have another child. Please GOD dont take her away from me too. I never really bargained with GOD like I did many times with my daddy, instead it was just a just prayer asking him to save my daughter. To help restore what I already knew in life that GOD is a truly amazing and he never leaves us and he goes all the way with us until the end. I will never forget this CRNA and the Dr. Kappa, telling me it was going to be okay, and this one nurse Mary, she helped me so much during the process. To be thankful to GOD in a moment that your mind races and you dont know whether your baby is alive or gone on to heaven is very hard to understand and believe in, but I did, I knew all my faith and trust in him and although medicine and doctors gave me a percentage, it was through GOD that I truly felt gave them the knowledge to act quickly to bring my baby girl home to me. This thanksgiving, I may not have my mom and dad with me, I may not even celebrate with my brothers and families as they have places to go as well, but I have a loving Father that hears my cries, sees my saddens and in the end helps carry my heartaches so that I can appreciate and enjoy this year with my two children and husband that I love so very dearly. I am thankful and blessed that 10-20 percent if she made it out of NICU or 2 months, and here we are almost 6 months later, thriving and doing well. I am thankful for my Pastor Jim Wells, that I kept calling and calling the day I went into Labor, I wanted to be there with me. He was the second person that knew I was expecting baby # 2, and I wanted him so bad to visit her and he did. I may not tell him often, but I am truly blessed and thankful to call him a friend to my family as well as our Pastor. This year is about being thankful for all the good that has happened even when the bad was here first.
Posted on: Mon, 25 Nov 2013 04:21:28 +0000
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