Today is a sad day for me. I have been a Mormon all of my life. I have had questions about the LDS church for a great deal of that time. Throughout my teenage years I asked questions, but only to myself. I couldnt bare to let my mother and father know that I had questions. I resolved my questions through prayer and fasting and scripture study. I went on a mission. I had questions. I wasnt sure if God was there or if what I was doing was right, but I talked to my mission president and I put my shoulder to the wheel and I buried myself in the people and the work and I tried so very very hard to do what I thought was right to be the best missionary that I could be. I made enemies, and I cried, a lot, but I was praised for my obedience and released honorably as a successful missionary. I had questions when I got home, but I went to institute and I met an amazing woman and I got married. I had questions when I realized that for the first time in my life I was the only person who could make myself go to church. I searched, I went to BYU, I took religion classes. I read conference talks and books. I prayed for multiple days, I prayed for hours, I talked to bishops, but the answers never came. When I moved to Florida I had questions. I went to institute, but the answers didnt come. I began to read more about church history and doctrine. I began to form my own opinions. I began to express these opinions and ideas. For this I was cast aside. In my ward and online I began to realize that there were a lot of people with questions, but that so many were too afraid to say it. I feel for these people today. I am no longer LDS, but I will always be a Mormon. I will always respect my pioneer heritage because they found answers to questions and they followed those answers through pain and torture and even death. Now I have answers, and people dont like my answers and so I dont post anymore. I dont share my life anymore, or rather I share what is acceptable, but I cant go somewhere else because I cant leave. My life is immersed in Mormonism and it will always be that way for better or for worse. And so today I want to say that I am a #questioningmormon and I want to invite others to do the same using the same hashtag. We are not alone. There are lots of people, active, strong, tithe-paying, calling-holding Mormons with questions. There are also those who were active, tithe-paying, calling-holding members who had questions. Online groups alone show this is the case. Mormon stories has 5200 Facebook followers, feminist Mormon housewives has 3300 and these are only the people who are willing to let their friends and families see that they are members of these groups. Reddit has tens of thousands! These are those who have questions that have led them to those groups. Others have questions and dont know that those groups even exist. Others lurk in the shadows wanting to join, but are too afraid of what might happen. So post. If you have questions let others know that you have questions. If its okay to ask questions then no one should have a problem with it and I hope to God that no one has a problem with it because too many people are hurt and wounded. Too many families are torn apart because of sons and daughters and wives and husbands who have questions. Its time to stop the pain and the only way I can think to do is by standing up and saying that I have had questions. And if you have questions or had questions then I am sorry for how youve been treated because Ive been there and it sucks. This post is going to hurt people, others will have no idea whats going on, and some will probably think Im odd, but I have weighed the benefits and it is worth it. Loving others is always worth it and thats all Im trying to do.
Posted on: Thu, 19 Jun 2014 15:43:22 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015