Today marked the 1st month that Bill went to Heaven. I have no words to describe our pain and loneliness. Ive been reading the book on grief from our Pastor Thomas along with other writings on grief, and I could have written these books. The writings address the shock and numbness we feel; the fact that Bill is no longer suffering doesnt stop our grief; and how we can be functioning like we have to one minute, then the next were all to pieces. They talk about how life goes on and gets back to normal for everyone else , except the family of the one who passed. For our family, our lives are never normal ever again. We are faced with the fact that we must somehow go on the best we can, while dealing with knowing that Bill will never be a part of our daily lives or our future plans. We are dealing with all the emotional ties that bonded our lives with Bill; and the emotional feelings that come with this part of grief, are almost more that we can take. There is a poem in one of the readings and it goes something like this: Life must go on, and the dead are forgotten. Life must go on though good men die. Normal things like: Anne, eat your breakfast, Dan, take your bath. Life must go on, I just forget why. Thats random, but really, thats how this is. Life goes on... but what a change. One writer said sometimes Christians are ridiculed for grieving like its a sign of weakness but we are human and we should allow ourselves time to grieve the terrible loss we feel. The Bible talks about how Joseph fell on his father Jacob and wept at his death, and how Joseph grieved 70 days for his Father. Also,Jesus wept when Lazarus died, so if its ok for Jesus, then its perfectly normal for us to feel grief and cry. Not grieving does not make us more spiritual...Ive learned crying and grieving does not make me less of a Christian.Grief is perfectly normal. As a matter of fact, being a Christian gives us a deeper way of loving, if we love like Jesus Loves, so my love and my grief is strong. Christians know the scripture, II Corinthians 5:8 to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, which is great for the person who passed; but for those they leave behind, its gut-wrenching. Were left here knowing we are going to be without them for the remaining years of our lives. Grief can linger on for years, while were trying to just establish a new normal without our loved one. All of these things sum up the overwhelming basket of emotions that have filled our lives the past few weeks. Along with this; tomorrow marks the 1 year date that began Bills 3 week hospital stay which he spent 10 of those days on life support. So much is going through my mind, and the tears and emotions have ran rampant today. We do take comfort in the scriptures, in knowing that God loves us and cares about this pain we are going through; but also we know that we can grieve for one we loved so very much, and its ok to do so. Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Im trusting the Lord with my broken heart, and depending on HIM to carry me and our precious family through this time of grief. Thank you all for your love, prayers and support.
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 01:51:56 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015