Today was an emotional day for me. Dads are supposed to stay strong for the family. I did for a while and then I felt weird. I don’t know if I can explain it well, but I felt like a huge bubble of emotions that was getting ready to burst. I have no idea what that was or why I felt that way. It’s very odd. The children’s hospital that Joshua is in has a Ryan Seacrest studio on the first floor. Every once in a while they have a big singer come in to help uplift the kids and family that are there. I usually don’t pay much attention to it. Jill told me that a singer was there the last time Joshua was admitted. I couldn’t tell you who it was. But today they had a well-known Christian band that I have listened to for years. Switchfoot was there. It was great. I thought I would go down and just catch a glimpse of them, but Jill and I were invited into the glass enclosed studio. They talked with the DJ, sang 3 songs, and answered questions from a little girl who was on the phone from her hospital room. Jill and I were walking out at the end and one of the studio guys asked if we wanted a picture taken with them. I didn’t want to take time away from any of the kids but was assured that that wouldn’t happen. I walked over with Jill and all of the guys were extremely friendly and down to earth. Jon Foreman, lead singer, and I started talking. It was a good conversation and one of those things that I never thought would ever take place. The whole experience was great. But to tell you the truth, I was sad when they were singing. Not because of their singing. They were awesome and sounded great. They sounded exactly the same as they do on the radio or on CDs. And not because of their words. I think I even tuned some of it out as my thoughts drifted. I was sad because my little boy was upstairs laying in a hospital bed with no physical signs of improvement, at least none that I could see. As cool as it was to have Switchfoot singing about 20 feet away from me, my heart just wasn’t in it. I told Jon (because we now know each other on a 1st name basis ) that I was glad to meet him, but that I wish it wasn’t here in the hospital. He told me he understood. His daughter had been in the hospital a while back. He said that having kids was like having a nervous system outside of your body. I agree. I hurt when Averi or Logan get hurt. I told him that I had prayed that God would not let my son suffer, but would move all of the issues over to me for me to deal with. He understood. And even though I think that I was meant to meet them and talk with them, I was still sad. Jill and I left to go back to Joshua’s room. We were able to meet with the surgeon a day early. It was unplanned and caught all of us by surprise but I think it was another meeting that was pre-arranged. This was a tough conversation. He explained briefly what had to be done, but the biggest part of the conversation revolved around having a virus or bad germs in the lungs and operating at the same time. He said that Joshua wouldn’t make it if that happened. All of this was really hard to hear. However there was a good part to this. The surgeon made a comment about being on the respirator for an extended period of time. We already knew the pneumonia and virus were both from being on the ventilator. I asked if we could take the tube out. He was in favor, spoke with the doctor on duty, and the doctor came and spoke with me. Tomorrow morning they will attempt to take the tube out. They are concerned that Joshua’s airway will close up. However, I am not concerned. Man makes plans, but God ordains steps (Proverbs 16:9). I believe that God worked all of this out for us. I haven’t told you everything that has occurred today, but there was confirmation before meeting Switchfoot or the doctors. I believe that we are in God’s hands and that Joshua will be okay. We thank God tonight, well in advance of tomorrow’s adventures. However God works this out, it will be God’s will. I am glad that God is our source, strength, and healer.
Posted on: Thu, 20 Mar 2014 01:04:33 +0000