Today was so incredibly intense. I woke up in my hammock on the porch and came inside. I read the bible, torah and wrote for hours. I manifested a ride to a church on the other side of town where I met a pastor who took the time to get to know me personally. The congregation was so warm and personal, accepting, and loving. By far the best church I had been to in my life. I was introduced to a youth pastor for weekly bible studies and someone who may help me get to/from church on Sunday morning. I got a ride to riverside and got off two blocks from my apartment in search of the traveler woman with the scripture poster. She was not there and as I walked home I met two young Mormon missionaries. I invited them home and we had lemonade and long a several hour long conversation about god. We prayed that my heart heal, and that I be able to focus and be consistent as I attempted to become the person I wanted to be. I know I have strayed these past few months, I gave up and lost hope. I did something terrible with my body and soul and my bashert. I prayed forgiveness and reparations if it was gods will. The lesson God gave me today was the lesson of good and evil. In the pastors sermon he talked about lies and deceipt and many evil characteristics that I possess. I feel that the best path to becoming a lighter being is a positive mindset, self discipline, and sound, resolved faith. I plan to check into a hospital tonight to get stable. We will see what happens.
Posted on: Mon, 19 Aug 2013 02:12:49 +0000
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