Today, we have an untitled first page submission by another brave writer. Ill get the ball rolling with a few comments after the page, but then Id like you to put on your readers cap and give us your first gut reaction in the Comments. After reading this opening, would you turn to page two? Why, or why not? He lay still in a prone firing position looking through the scope of his rifle with his finger curled around the trigger. In the center of the crosshairs he watched the sinister eyes of his target. Even from a distance of eight hundred yards Max thought the man appeared to be smug. He was responsible for the planning of a terrorist attack in the United States that claimed the lives of thirteen innocent children. He was basking in the glory he was receiving from his fellow tribesmen. To them he was a king, a God among mortal men. He had attacked the great Satan in the name of Allah and they were all rejoicing. The man looked around, smiling and waving to those around him. Without warning the man suddenly buckled at the knees and collapsed in a heap. There was no sound, other than him hitting the ground violently. Blood spewed three hundred and sixty degrees, splattering the crowd with blood and brain matter. Max couldn’t hear the screams of the crowd and didn’t take the time to see the fear on their faces. But he knew by the way they quickly scattered they were fearful and screaming. He wished the families of the thirteen victims could see what he was seeing. Perhaps it would bring some closure to some of them. What do you think? (note: this was copy/pasted from Killzone. Not sure why the website didnt update the posting as per normal, but it was interesting so I wanted to present it here)
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:57:51 +0000
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