Today we sat down with the main nurse from the clinic, where Zoey will be receiving her treatments. She walked us through home care and what to expect over her treatment time. I did find out, that her treatment is actually for 8 months, then the rest of the 2.5 year period it is maintenance treatment, which is good news. Well be going twice a week, for the next 8 months. First day is checking levels and getting platelets, then the next day is chemo. Its a 40 minute drive both ways. I hope me and Zoey can really talk during this time. This whole situation has really opened my eyes to what I have taken for granted with our life, and I really want to strengthen our mother-daughter relationship. It means the world to me. She means the world to me. Her first month will be the hardest she said, and it will require the most caution. But after that, just cleanliness and healthy living is pretty much the guideline. As for visitors, you have to be up to date on ALL vaccinations, her immunity is completely depleted, so she is extremely susceptible to anything. Flu shots for visitors arent required, but are recommended. So of course everyone in this house (except Zoey) will get one. Also, if anyone has been sick within the last two weeks, she cant be around you. I also learned that she is classified under chronic illness which means she is protected by law from failing school. We will be working with a social worker to coordinate with her school on school work to be done and what not. She said after the first 4 months, she should be able to go back at least part time, but thats entirely up to her of course. Its good to know she wont have to repeat the 2nd grade after all of this is over. Overall, its not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Her meds, schedule, appointments, etc. Now we just gotta get her home TOMORROW! Tonight Im home again with the two little ones, and Dad is at the hospital with her. Im having a really hard time, now that my mother in law and Kris aunt are gone. Like life, alone, is really settling in. God I miss Zoey. I just want her to be okay, and to be Zoey again. Its so tough to see how weak she still is, and not want to stick her in a bubble for the next 2.5 years. I know I cant. I try not to ask myself too many questions, like why me, why her, why didnt I see this coming, what signs did I overlook....As a mom, you cant help but blame yourself. You alone are the caregiver for your child, what else are you supposed to do. Anytime I get worked up about it and cry, I just remind myself it could be a hell of a lot worse and I am so lucky THIS IS IT! Of course I feel guilty for every time I yelled at her, or sent her to her room as punishment, or took something away after she got into trouble. But at the same time, it showed me that life is too short, and to lighten up a little. Theyre kids, not grownups. Theyre still learning. Okay so maybe I lied a little bit. Im REALLY sad, and I really just want her home. I plan on sleeping with her for forever. Or atleast until shes a teenager and tells me to get out. Tonight at the hospital, she was having some blood pressure/pulse issues, but it seems they have it under control now. She also has a REALLY bad headache from EVERYTHING shes had going on from procedures/visitors/and lack of appetite. But she ate more dinner tonight, and got some meds for her headache. Ugh, I just miss my baby and want her home. This is tough.
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 05:41:47 +0000
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