Today we would have celebrated your birthday, but instead I grieve for what I have lost. Its hard to believe that a year has gone, so many obstacles to over come. I will carry, for the rest of my life , the burdens of our last words spoken, last actions taken, memories of a moment in time that was beyond our control. Our souls will bear the guilt of what we did or didnt do because we are human. I will cry for that second chance, for just a brief time to tell you how much I loved you for i didnt know when that day would be our last. We are all different in our pain and sorrow but my tears flow for you that I no longer have you in my life. My heartache goes deeper than loss or grief or sorrow. There are no words invented for what we are going through, though we all try to find them anyway, try to express this profound and forever change in a world gone cold. I cry for the injustices you suffered in silence and your inability to see you were worth everything to me. My sorrow for Scott and Kirsti goes far and beyond, we did not lose just love, we lost the universe. Now we are lost among the stars, searching for a new home to rest our weary hearts. We find this world is a burden almost too heavy to carry. As each day carries me further away from the last time I saw you, I still hear your voice, your last words to me, I love you and guard this with your life I hear the love in your words and the tone of your voice. I miss you my darling with my whole heart, I miss your laugh, voice, your smell, I miss talking to you, hugging you and I miss your everlasting love. I look at our pictures everyday so I will not lose the image of us, the memory of you . Some days, the pain is so dominate, I cant breath all over again. The memories so painful that the tears fall harder. Some days the burden is to heavy. I have to learn all over again to not worry for what will be will be and can only hope that the mercies of the universe decide I have carried a heavy enough burden without adding that to it. I never want to hurt like this ever again. You were my rock, my soulmate forever
Posted on: Sat, 10 Jan 2015 21:09:02 +0000
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