Today with my little Mom & Katie: The frustration. The agony. The reality of swirling puzzle pieces. The loss of control. The momentary glimmer of connection and relation. The eraser appears to clean the slate. Intuitive thoughts clashing with memory crossed wires. A rush of tears of frustration feeling like an idiot and so ashamed and embarrassed. The desire to connect the dots with what the eyes see fights with the warped location sensors. Watch out here comes the eraser again. This is the description of the 2 minutes of when the info light holds and then flickers off The questions of how do you know these people? And these people are my kids and shes blown away that Im related ; missing the point that Im their mom and her daughter. This goes on in some capacity for 3 hours until she grabs my leg and says, youre my Angie! Tears are falling down her face. Where have you been all my life! All I know to do is fold this tiny woman into my arms and hold her as she sobs. The confusion and frustration in her soul is palpable. I tell her she is beautiful and smart and she will always be my mom. I love you dearly! I tell her that it doesnt matter to me what she remembers or forgets because I know her, and I will forever be her daughter... Snuggling the. 85 yr old mom who bandaged my boo boos and taught me about Jesus continues until a breeze of peace washes over her beautiful aged face. Now its time for chocolate pudding and bed! And maybe just a little more crying for my aching heart for what is to come for my little Mom...be gentle Lord Jesus. Amen. #alzheimersishard #loveherdearly
Posted on: Sun, 18 May 2014 12:57:33 +0000