Tommy Cooper type jokes, thanks Dave, some crackers here Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction. My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60s group The Monkees. I thought she was joking ......... and then I saw her face...... My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Swan Vestas and his little face lit up when he tried to walk. Unfortunately, I forgot to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful bleeders. All I did was say, Hurry up for goodness sake, some of us have got homes to go to! Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, hes mainly black and brown with a small white patch, so Ive named him Birmingham. I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts, Thats just for starters! Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of Im a celebrity, get me out of here! Show bosses think she will do really well since shes been living off a dead Beatle for the last thirty years.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Jan 2014 07:57:32 +0000
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