Tomorrow, I plan on sinning against God. Im going to commit the following Cardinal Sins: Gluttony, by eating everything my eyes see and within arms reach. Lust, by lusting after dessert after Ive lusted after the turkey. Sloth, by camping out in the nearest couch and pretending I have a gym injury so I cant help with the clean-up. Wrath, because as many of you know, God help the man or woman who gets between me and my food. Pride, over the enormous belly I plan to create and nurture. Greed, by grabbing every black olive on the condiment tray and claiming my niece Morgen took them. And Im going to force all of you to commit the sin of Envy, since youll be amazed at how much food one person can eat in one sitting. Pray for me you God-fearing folk out there, for I am a Thanksgiving sinner!
Posted on: Wed, 26 Nov 2014 22:08:19 +0000