Tomorrow is the sixth anniversary of my son Khaliyqs death by suicide. Ive had six full years of amazing introspection, growth, and regression. Ive personally experienced mental distress. I know how it distorts how we perceive and experience the world. All survivors of tragedy experience post traumatic stress syndrome (PTS). Suicide survivors are no exception. The degree and extent of trauma is based on how much we try to hold on to things as they were in the past, and our ability to experience the Force that is greater than our physical selves. When Khaliyq made his transition, a part of me literally died as well. I identified with being Khaliyqs mom, and all that came with it - the glory, the bragging rights, as well as the right to complain. It was a major part of my identify, and I lost it and him overnight one Superbowl Sunday. I suffered; my ego suffered a very real death. I felt self pity. Then recently I had an insight. I realized that as long as I tried to hold on to that old identify, I would suffer pain. I am still Khaliyqs mom, the relationship has just transitioned. As he has transitioned to the non-physical, I have to transition my relationship with him as well. The relationship doesnt end, it evolves. Of course I knew that intellectually; but when I got it in my soul a major shift occurred. I released a huge block in my energy and the remaining depression and self pity now have an exit route. My energy is no longer held hostage. I can now use that energy productively. This is my journey of mental health and balance. Mental health is a dynamic variable changing over time dependent upon whats going on in our lives. As a feeling and intuitive woman, its been hard enough for me to acknowledge my emotional and mental challenges. I can only imagine what it is like for young black men, such as Khaliyq, who traditionally have not felt free to acknowledge their pain or feelings of inadequacy. We tell them to man up and overcome their feelings. This results in repression. Repression results in projection onto another through guilt or anger due to fear of being discovered. I started the Young Tiger Foundation to teach young men how to deal with these emotions, so that despair is not tipped towards self destruction and suicide. On the path, I realized the bigger picture is that mental health is something that everyone needs to tune into daily. Just as we learn about the body, we need to learn about the mind. Then no matter what state we are in, peace of mind can ultimately prevail; and life can be lived and experienced fully as it was meant to be. Think About It!
Posted on: Sun, 02 Feb 2014 15:29:33 +0000
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