Tonight I climbed into bed feeling small and defeated. Was it a bad day? No not really ... Its just the cold weather makes me grumpy. Because it makes my RSD flare which reminds me my body is broken. Today, my doctor explained RSD impacts my house-keeping nerves - the ones that take care of temperature regulation among other things. So my extremities get excessively cold. I take lots of warm baths, wear gloves and Uggs inside, and try to coax my wonky nerves into behaving. Instead, they hold meetings without me and do exactly what they please. Maddening little things. Making me so weak and needy. Im not comfortable being weak and needy. I fight hard to be strong and independent. But on days like today, the harder I fight the more ridiculous I get til finally (like tonight) Im just a heap of tears and off to bed. Small and defeated. Until finally I surrender. And I turn my hands over and say yes to God again for his plans for my life, including RSD. Including a weak and needy me. And it is in that prayer of surrender, I realize ... though I climbed into bed feeling quite small, I am no longer defeated. Amen, my friends. And sweet dreams.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 04:37:52 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015