Tonight I decided I needed to really put into perspective, how good the rolls are at my favourite manufacturer of dreams - Hang Bakery Paralowie. To do this, I decided to go to the new breeder in town – Subway. Service: The Caucasian staff member greeted me using extremely good English. Straight away I knew there was something not right. He asked what type of “bread” I’d like my roll on, confused and scared, I asked for wheat. He then asked if I’d like cheese on my roll… this was the first time I’ve been asked this while ordering a roll. I asked “which animals milk is this cheese derived from”. He didn’t know. Fearing it may be from a gross cow, I said no. This was really concerning to me, I was starting to get the feeling that Subway was trying to re-invent the wheel. For his lack of knowledge and roll prowess, for service I give Subway 1 out of 5 Chihuahua’s. The Meat: I was only given the choice of “pork”. I normally go a combo, so this was a little disappointing. The meat was white, shredded and had a soft texture. The flavour had an unusual like taste to it… I suspect it may not have been dog. 2 out of 5 Chihuahua’s Salad and dressings: The cucumber was sliced in a circular manor while the carrot seemed to be grated, this was extremely poor form. Both tasted like they had been sitting a cold storage for a month. The sauce… my god… It tasted like soy sauce which was watered down with vinegar that had been excreted from an unknown orifice of a dog. So I can give them points for authenticity there, but the taste really detracts those points right back away. Half a Chihuahua. The Roll: Soft yet stale. Tasted like cardboard. This was the final nail in the coffin. No Chihuahua’s. Conclusion: Subway has obviously tried to capitalise on the Dog Roll craze. Much like a bacon sandwich being served at a Mosque, their attempt to fit into the Dog Roll market is being poorly received by true believers. Subway has done what most corporations do to crazes when they try to capitalize on a trend… ruin it. Subway Dog Rolls are an unemployed man falsely claiming they served in Afghanistan. Subway Dog Rolls are a virgin trying to make it past second base with another virgin. Subway Dog Rolls are what North Korea is compared to the free world. Subway Dog Rolls are what Vanilla Ice and Nickelback are to music. They are nothing!
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 11:16:22 +0000
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