Tonight, as I lay in the darkness of my grandmothers guest room, I realize being alone here has opened me up to the sadness of my grandfather being gone. Tomorrow morning I wont see him in his dark blue robe and brown slippers he wore during the cold months. Even now I remember how soft and warm it felt when he hugged me. He wont be making me breakfast and asking how I want my eggs. I remember the pan he always used and the time I started saying I wanted my eggs fried, because I thought that was how a grown up ate them. When I go to get groceries for Thanksgiving dinner, I wont be able to go with him in his big blue truck. He didnt shop, he would say, he went in and got the things on the list, then went home. He wont be there to make the mashed potatoes that were my favorite or carve the turkey with the electric knife that is probably older than me. I wont be able to hold his hand for the prayer or feel the squeeze when he said Amen. No matter how grateful I am for having him in my life, these are the times the hole he left hurts the worst. This post might make my mom cry, I hope shell forgive me writing it. If it helps, Im crying my eyes out too. I never realized how lonely this room was.
Posted on: Tue, 26 Nov 2013 07:06:40 +0000
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