Tonight at Wally Marts I was minding my own business, repeatedly - TopicsExpress



          

Tonight at Wally Marts I was minding my own business, repeatedly asking the pharmacist where the Mandingo brand condoms were, farting on children and generally making myself a joy to be around when I was transported to Pleasant Grove. Not transported like Star Trek, or Wars or whatever you nerds watch, but in a terribly frightening and unpleasant way. I was reaching for a super size vat of Old Spice: Abstinence- the scent that deters sin, when I was swept up in the gravitational pull of what I can only describe as a walking, talking, huffing, puffing human parade float. Her jeans said Made with pride in America by Nissan. She was large, if her name was Rosie, the AC/DC song would have been called Way to damn much of Rosie. I found myself orbiting her in a cloud of Whataburger wrappers, a licked clean drumstick cone and a half empty Route 44 diet coke. At one point I feared we might join together by sheer force of her gravity and become one, Rosies moon, um, her other moon, a new moon, or some shit. Anyhow, thats how I ended up in Pleasant Grove. Can anyone give me a ride back to Wally Marts?
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 04:32:49 +0000

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