Tonight’s Scandal Recap is a little late because I had to call my parents and tell them how much I love them and their normal, boring lives… All right, on to the recap, brought to you by CLUE…because Crazy leaves a lot of them… And the Pope family has a PhD, MBA, and IOU in crazy… The episode opened with Olivia back in the handling business…cleaning up Cyrus’ mess with the manwhore…She proposed marriage but Cy “I never enjoyed being between the thighs of a woman” Beene wasn’t having it….That is until Liv channeled her inner Phil Jackson and gave him the “B*tch, baby,” speech. (Hey, it worked for Michael Jordan and the Bulls). Of course, she got Cy riled up and he put a ring on it! Jake got a total eclipse….the sun is gone. And it needs to be since your Spidey senses let your woman get snatched right from under your boxers. You should’ve known something was up the way Livvie was dancing around in the living room talking about Vermonts and Suns... Mellie…I was feeling sorry for you since you can’t seem to buy a faithful man, but honey, you are back!! Put Elizabeth in her place. Fresh Mellie rules! David learned don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to…And Quin…well, I’m convinces she’s just twisted. I’m also convinced that fight scene was not what Luther envisioned when he made Endless Love. Back to the Popes...Lawd, when you’re practicing kill shots for your daddy and your daddy got to pull a gun to make you sit, then he tests you to see if you’ll fire said gun and then you fail, so Popa got to go full metal jacket on you….well it all just makes you say, FIX IT JESUS…(To which I’m sure He would say, I can’t fix that mess). And you know it’s bad when you can’t even run to Mama. I mean, she’s been playing Dungeon and Dragons and doesn’t seem the least bit fazed by your boo-holing…Cry me a river, Livvie. Whatever.” Really??? Let me call my mama again. Whew…this episode had me refilling my fishbowl wine glass…and counting down how many days til Jan. 29 (no really…it’s 70 days in case you’re wondering…) So I leave you with these classic one liners…What was your favorite? “Girl, you need to move on.” “You send in your clan of good ol’ boys to kill me. “I’m marrying a whore, at least I know what Im paying for.” “Look around, boo, I’m in a cage. That doesn’t make us friends…it just makes us at risk for the same STDs. When it comes to screwing someone, Im not nearly as gentle…from me, it will hurt.” No matter how hard you try to deny it, you will miss me when I’m gone.” Until Jan. 29….. PS-Olivia, choose a man….I like you, but you’re starting to feel like a garden tool…BTW, girl, I have a good therapist…you need it. #BRINGBITSYBACK
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 03:51:48 +0000