Top 3 tidbits of advice for guys on Tinder (because it matters): #1 Dont use pictures of you snuggled up to a female, other than someone that is clearly your mother. Even if you think you look supa fly in that particular picture. You dont want me to be on your case already about Whos that girl, huh? Because then its like... Are you in a relationship currently? Is that an ex? Is that a special lady friend? You guys look awful happy to be there. And Im not about to get in the middle of whatever is going on in that picture. Its awkward. For all of us. #2 Dont make all of your profile pictures group shots. Because I dont just magically know who you are. I dont want to play dude roulette. Because maybe youre the hottie with the muscular arms and dazzling smile, or maybe youre the dude with the mystery-stained turtleneck and combover. I dont know. And I dont have the balls to find out. #3 Dont over-compensate with cute dog pictures. I cant tell you how many times Ive matched a guy just to meet their dog. I know what youre thinking, Aha! Its brilliant! I tricked her! Except no. This app is slowly turning into what once was: Hi, I find you physically attractive from your choice photographs, and the handful of things we apparently have in common might just mean we can tolerate each other long enough to sit down and have a beer. And if not, maybe youll at least show me your boobs (or enter whatever the Female equivalent of this suggestion would be.) to Hi, Im not genetically attracted to you, because I think wed have ugly children and Im hard wired to be repulsed by that, even if you have a lovely personality. But your dog might be the most gorgeous thing on 4 legs, so Id rather take him to the park for a date instead of you. Thank you for your time.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 17:15:05 +0000
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