Totally random parenting rant, because Ive seen one too many crazy kids/weird parenting articles/bad parenting choices this weekend. Controversy is fun, right!? XD My biggest belief in parenting is consistency. If I say you need to get X done or you lose electronics on Saturday (a BIG deal for us since most electronics are Friday, Saturday, Sunday only in this house), then...if they dont get X done...electronics are gone on Saturday! I cant believe how often I hear if you yell one more time, its going back! About some toy at the store....and the parents keeps threatening...and threatening....and the kid keeps yelling...and yelling......and still gets the toy Really? What did that teach them? I remember with my strong willed one (DD) dragging her kicking and screaming through a store to put back the sparkly hat she wanted after she threw a temper tantrum, then checking out, shopping only half done, and going home. Last temper tantrum she had in a store, ever. Even worse, the parents that say stop. Dont. Shhh. Then suddenly flip and whale on their kids behind with a wooden spoon. How are the kids supposed to learn where the line is if the line is blurry and inconsistent? This causes distrust and fear for the kid. This is breaking not training if youre using animal training lingo. My goal? Dont break my kids. Training them, I can live with. Another rant. If youre going to pose a question/decision to your kid, you need to respect the choice they make. The other day at Target I saw a mom ask her kid do you want oranges or cookies? The kid answered cookies. (Honestly--what was she expecting?) she huffed, said no, and put oranges in the basket instead. Way to negate your childs individuality, right to make decisions, and autonomy. In similar situations, if I realize, after asking, that Ive made a mistake in posing something as a question instead of as a statement, Ill TELL my kids I made a mistake. Ill compromise (after talking, explaining, accepting blame)--well get a smaller thing of cookies, then add the oranges as well. Or Ill tell them thats fine, I had hoped they would pick healthy, but I understand that cookies are irresistible, though Id like them to consider how yummy and healthy oranges are in the future. I try to give them choices often, expecting one answer only to get the other more frequently than I anticipate. I turn it into a conversation, rather than a dictatorship, whenever I can. And finally, pet peeve number three. Not to mention the biggest of them all. Tell them why. They cant hang upside down off the line-up bars at the restaurant? Why not? They have to do their homework each evening? Why? What benefit is it to them? No running in the house? Why not? They need to put their toys away after playing with them? Why? Explain the big five Ws. Who, what, why, when, and where. Tell them the explanation behind the instruction. When you treat your kids like intelligent creatures capable of understanding basic info rather than robots that do what theyve been told to do, theyll take that one extra step and surprise you, far more often than youd expect.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 05:01:44 +0000
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