Transcription of this truly powerful clear pointing of Deeper than knowing Im not these thoughts or feelings to actually meeting the (insubstantial) source of needing more, not there yet: (from 2:19 on this video to end), 2nd part after thoughts is the poignancy. Video clip below. _/\_ ~~~ Rupert: So just put that thought on one side, that thought that ‘I need more, I need to be completed. I need to be enlightened’. Leave that thought on one side. Without that (thought), what is there to be completed? What is there to seek more? Is there any inpulse? If you don’t refer to thought, is there any impulse to resist the Now, and seek the not-now? Q: “No.” Okay, so it’s just a single thought. We only know one thought at a time. It’s just one little thought that lasts, what, two seconds? ‘I need more than this’. That thought alone, just that thought, a little ripple, is determining that You (and You are obviously not that thought, because the thought just comes), but that little almost-nothing thought is telling You, that is independent of that thought, that you need something more, that you need to be completed. So now instead of referring to that thought, refer to YourSelf. Ask yourself if you need more in this moment? What does your experience say? [Silence from questioner]. Exactly. This absolute ease that is your experience, this ‘I don’t need something more’-ness of your current experience, is it truly obscured by a little thought? Q: “No.” Can thought really veil or disturb that absolute ‘I don’t need more’-ness? Q: “No.” So the thought doesn’t have to be battled with; it doesn’t even need to be gotten rid of. It didn’t veil to begin with; this natural ease. That ‘more’ that thought is looking for IS this natural ease which was there all along. That is the ‘more’ that you are looking for. That is how silly the ‘more’ thought is. It’s the wave that seeks water. Q: “Yeah.” Q: “In this moment, there’s a feeling sense or a recognition that’s DEEPER THAN CONCEPT.” Apart from the thought, (we could say ‘behind the thought’ but it’s not really behind)…, so behind the thought or independent of the thought, there is no seeking for more. We could all see that the silence came because you simply couldn’t find a motive in yourself to leave the Now. Okay, so the ‘more’ thought has a deeper root in the body, which is the ‘more’ FEELING. Yeah? So you’re quite right, it’s somehow not enough just to dismiss the little ‘more’ thought, and think ‘that’s it’ because there is something that is less clearly defined in us; something in the body that keeps generating the ‘I need more’ thought, even though we may see how silly it is. Nevertheless, just seeing that is not enough. These ‘I need more’ thoughts seem to be generated from an unknown source; and this unknown source is the body, the feelings in the body; the deeper root of the ‘I need more’ thought. So explore this feeling in just the same way that we explored the thought. It’s a more sensitive kind of exploration, because the thought is clearly defined. You can see it floating by the ‘window’. It’s clearly defined: it has a form, it has a length, it has a duration, it has a sound, it comes and goes. But the feeling is nebulous and amorphous and can’t be located. And yet we know it’s there. ‘I FEEL that I need something’..., this subliminal impulse to avoid the Now. So we have to be very sensitive. Go, in your experience, to the feeling. The feeling impulse propels you out of the Now toward something; what we’re calling ‘more’..., ‘Anything but this!’ Q: “It’s a grip, like a solid sense of … something…” Yes, and this feeling, which is a cramp or a kind of contraction in the body is generating a thought which compel us toward objects and activities and substances and relationships. So this feeling is kind of the storehouse where all these thought and desires and fears are all generated from. So go right into that feeling; right into the heart of that feeling. Ask yourself: ‘Is this feeling really inherently propelling me towards a future? What is it telling me?’ Before you’ve added a label; just the raw feeling. Can you be with the raw feeling before you’ve added a thought to it, before you’ve added a label? Is it really impelling you away from the Now? Is this feeling telling you that you need more? It may be uncomfortable. What is the feeling telling you to do? Q: “That’s a hard one, but I want to say Protect.” Okay, so now…, below that feeling, there is something even deeper than that feeling that is being protected, that is vulnerable. Yes? Even subtler than the protective feeling. Yeah? So, go there. [Silence] What does it need protection from? Is it really being threatened? Q: “Not that I’m aware of.” How would it be to let that…., whatever it is, that almost nameless, formless feeling of vulnerability, just to leave it totally exposed…, without protection? Is it dangerous? Q: “I don’t know.” But it’s good, because we’re no longer talking about the feeling of wanting more. That seems to have evaporated. We’ve now gone to something which is deeper-down in the system; a feeling of fear, a feeling of protection/vulnerability, which was underneath the feeling ‘I need more’ thought and feeling. So just slowly, allow yourself to (as it were) go through these layers. Because it’s the feeling of vulnerability that gives rise to the feeling for protection or fear; and that, in turn, gives rise to the feeling of ‘I need to get away from this’. That, in turn, gives rise to the thought ‘I want more’. That, in turn, gives rise to the way we act and relate in the world. The way we act and relate in the world is just the manifestation. But what it’s a manifestation of lives in here [points to his body], buried. And as long as it’s buried, as long as it’s not clearly seen for what it is, it can rule the show behind the scenes. We wonder, year in and year out, after all the therapy, after all the whatever-it-is that we do, that there is this impulse: Why do we keep doing it? Why is there still this suffering? Why is there still ‘I want more’… being expressed in whatever particular way that we do it. It’s because we’ve been too afraid to go to the root, to the core of this sense of ‘I need more’ which is this very vulnerable ‘something’ that needs protecting. But when we go there, and ask ‘it’ what it needs, it doesn’t tell us that it needs protecting. What is that raw feeling actually telling me? We find that it’s not telling me ANYTHING. It’s not telling me any more than THIS sensation. What is the sensation of your hand on the chair telling you? NOTHING. There are no implications to it. Do we have to seek because of it? Do we have to resist because of it? There are no implications to it. In other words, there is nothing left to impel us out of the Now, to seek happiness or love or enlightenment (whatever name we want to give it). What we were seeking turns out to be this very Now, the ease, total absence of resistance; this intimacy with all experience. That was what the separate self was seeking. That was what the separate self was veiling. It’s very search for that is the veiling of that. That’s why the separate self can never have what it wants. It can only die in it. It’s like the moth that can never touch the flame. It longs for the flame, but can only die in it. It’s okay just for it to be on the surface, exposed. It thrived on not being exposed, on not being clearly seen. As long as it was not clearly seen it could make us believe that it needed protecting. But when it’s clearly seen, we clearly see that it doesn’t need protecting; for there is no inherent impulse in it to avoid the Now, to seek for more (which is another name for enlightenment), to seek happiness, to seek for something else, to seek what is not. That’s where it begins, right deep-down in the system, this place that we dare not go to. For you, where it’s really at is in this feeling buried in the body that seems to be telling you that you are a separate self, resisting experience, that needs to think or act or relate or acquire in some way in order to keep this feeling at bay. So, do the opposite. Just be very loving with this feeling. Allow it to be totally, completely exposed. And just ask it: ‘What are you really telling me? Are you telling me that I have to run, run, run, run, run from the Now?’ And we see that ‘wanting more’ is just a way of not fully feeling this. As long as we don’t fully feel it, then the ‘I need more’ story keeps going. It seems to be valid. But allow this formless, nameless vulnerable feeling to just come right up; and just ask it: ‘What are you telling me? Are you really telling me to flee, to avoid, to seek? Or are you actually just totally okay? Do you really propel me out of the Now? Or are you just made out of experiencing, (sensation)? No impulse there to avoid or seek? Q: “Thank you.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ https://youtube/watch?v=hFgeuZUXc1M
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 01:42:52 +0000