Troy Lee, well todays the day Birthday boy, 37 years ago Troys poor mother was fit to burst. Unfortunately we didnt attend any of the birthing classes, all we had was a little handbook. Lyn had not long since eaten three quarters of a Water Melon, and was feeling unwell. She experienced her first Labour pain and was in something of a small panic. I in my typical way remained calm and referred to my handbook. Lynnie was lying in bed as I read a paragraph telling me sometimes the first Labour pains can be simply wind. It advised getting out of bed and having a small walk around the room, This information I passed on to my lovely wife, and so she gladly obliged. It was like a scene from Wind in the Willows, every step producing monstrous farts, the blankets were blown off the bed, the curtains flew up in the air, and even our pet budgie Joey was blown against the window in his fight to combat Hurricane Lynnie. Its ok I proclaimed in a loud and happy voice, you simply have wind, this made Lynnie happy and she climbed back into bed. But unfortunately the pains were getting stronger and coming much closer apart, we tried another walk around with the same results, Hang Gliders were catching the wind, and small children flew kites in our bedroom. The answer was now blatantly obvious Lyn was in Labour and the baby was on the way. Trying not to panic I loaded Lynnie and her suitcase into the car, this was no mean feat as we owned a brand new tiny Mini, but with the use of a shoe horn and some Vaseline I squeezed her in. It was a short drive to the Hospital but Lyn had no intentions of going there. I was gob smacked, she insisted she had to see her mother first. Arguing all the way we drove to her mothers, and had to extricate Lynnie from the car. We managed this using the Calving method tying a rope round each leg. We knocked on the door and Lyns mum came bleary eyed to see what was up. Lyn simply looked at her mum, and her mum said Its time love, and that was it, back into the car and off we went. So after a short Labour and the help of a set of Salad spoons Troy was born, he was massive and longer than his mum, so now Troy have a happy birthday and give mum a big kiss when you get home for all her suffering. Love Dad.
Posted on: Thu, 15 Jan 2015 20:30:40 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015