True Southerners Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you dont have them, but pitch them. Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess. A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of yonder. A true Southerner knows exactly how long directly is - as in Going to town, be back directly. Even true Southern babies know that Gimme some sugar is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. All true Southerners know exactly when by and by is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor whos got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin.) True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between right near and a right far piece. They know that just down the road can be 1 mile or 20. True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol boy, and po white trash. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that fixin can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb. True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We dont do queues, we do lines. And when were in line, we talk to everybody. True Southerners never refer to one person as yall. True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food. When you hear someone say, Well, I caught myself lookin, you know youre in the presence of a genuine Southerner. Southerners say sweet tea and sweet milk. Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened; sweet milk means you dont want buttermilk. And a true Southerner knows you dont scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway - you say, Bless her heart and go your way.
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 23:58:20 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015