True story. One day long ago, while entertaining myself with thoughts of the man who *I thought* was perfect for me... I dreamily uttered the words God, I am so ready to be in love... to which I immediately heard, very clearly, no, you are not. Gods voice very clearly in my ear caught my FULL attention. I happened to be at that moment standing alone in a building right next door to the local mission, downtown Elkhart IN. The location was important, because across the street was a bar. And outside of that bar was a very dirty homeless man holding his brown paper bagged bottle while passed out on the sidewalk. Gods voice again spoke to me saying You only think you are ready to be in love, but really, you are only ready to be loved. You are not ready to be in love until you are able to love the ones who are unlovely, unloving, and unlovable... and he directed my eyes across the street to the homeless man. I broke down knowing he was right. I was focused on being loved, not being loving. That night I entered into a very real heart position before the Lord that I would lay down my right to even hope for a relationship until I had learned how to love the unlovely... I was 22. For the next 10 years, I learned so much about love. I learned that love always trusts, always hopes for the best, and always believes the best in the one it loves. And mostly, I learned the joy of experiencing Jesus intimately in ways that shaped my life dramatically. During that time, I learned the difference between using my relationship with Jesus to console my loneliness, and preferring to be alone with Jesus as a choice. Thats a fine line to cross, but oh so glorious when you do! When I was 29, God told me there was a Boaz coming over the hill for me, and when it was no longer good for me to be alone, I wouldnt be. My hearts response was please dont let him come for me until I need him to be able to fulfill my purpose and bring you the most glory with my life. I waited another 5 wonderful fulfilled years. Some of the best ministry years I can remember. Absolutely full, complete, not lacking in any way. And when God finally saw my heart was ready, along came Jack and I knew immediately and my heart was given to Jack, not by me, but by God. He entrusted me, His Beloved, to Jack to watch and keep until the day I return to Him. Im sharing this story because I have some dear friends whose hearts have been crushed by wrong relationships and they are just wanting to be healed, thinking they are ready to be in love. Let God speak to your heart, let him tell you what you are ready for. Dont make Jesus your consolation prize that you use to tell yourself it will all be okay. Youll always be feeling the hole in your heart is you keep focusing on how much you are trying to get God stuffed inside of it. I dont think he wants you to stuff him in that hole...he isnt interested in fixing your heart, he wants to give you a brand new one that has no holes! Im not saying your experience will be the same as mine, but he is interested in the same thing; the total surrender of all that you are in wild abandonment to him. and when you do, trust me... you will not regret it!
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 06:48:41 +0000
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