Tuesday is the anniversary of Scarlettes death. Its always hard, because we were not speaking when she passed. I went to her side, held her hand and wrote, Sisters forever on it. She stopped breathing about half an hour later, when we went to the hotel, and I went back and saw her body afterwards, while the coroner was there. It kills me to remember this whole thing every single time this date comes around. I relive the entire scenario. I see my once, beauty pageant sister, lying there with her head shaven on one side. I see her missing tooth, the wounds on her skull and I relive it all. I could have done something. I just dont know what. I wish in my heart that we had made up before she passed. I know she loved me. I loved her so much. I see Tashas face in my mind as well. Traumatized. Looking at her mother. Hugging her crying. I could see a childs dreams and heart breaking in one fell swoop. And, sadly, there was nothing I could do. It was horrible. What happens every year, is I try to not remember, but it has its own timer. It just keeps replaying. I live this every july 25 and every sept 9. Every year. I relive my father dying every Oct 12, I relive my sister bobbi dying every January 13, I relive my mom every July 5, and Penny every February 2. Its HORRIBLE. I cant get these deaths out of my head and I cant live my life! Someone - today and throughout this week, please hold me up in prayer. Im having a really rough time. I dont know anyone else in this world whos lost all 3 blood-related sisters, and both parents. Its killing me.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 17:58:52 +0000
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