Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring; even the Dane on the couch The stockings were hung so frickin high in the air ... In hopes our Dane couldnt get them up there The neighbors were nestled feeling safe in their beds While visions of big Danes zoomed in their heads With gizzards and chicken and bones going SNAP The Dane hoovered dinner and prepared for a nap. When out from the crate there arose such a clatter The Dane had to go out and empty his bladder Up from the floor he flew like a flash He tore out the door and peed on the grass He stood there so tall with a big head and lips He blocked out the moon like a total eclipse When what to my wondering eye should appear But a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny danedeer With a little old driver so lively and quick I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick I yelled to the Dane quick come in Rover He ran up the stairs and knocked me right over! And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof I got off the floor and held tight to my head I looked to the chimney with a feeling of dread He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot I had concern for Santa so I put him at sit St. Nick turned around and said HOLY SH*T The bundle of toys he dropped at his feet, He said OMG, what does he eat? That must be a horse or some form of cattle, let me look in my bag and find you a saddle! I explained to Santa he was a Great Dane A very big dog with a really small brain. Santa got on his knees and broke a big rule Before I could stop him, he was covered in drool He wouldnt bite, not even a robber Santa said okay, but was covered in slobber Santa laid on the floor all covered in jowls I ran to the kitchen to grab him some towels. Santa said Its Okay, I am no cleaner, What a cute Dane, but BOY what a leaner! We helped Santa up, with his bag made of silk while the Dane ate the cookies and knocked over the milk! He jumped back up, as if preparing to flee He pulled out the presents to chuck at the tree He backed up the chimney in a bright flash of red I ran to my room, Rover beat me to bed! We heard him mumble as he flew out of site, That guys really nice but his Danes just not right!
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 02:15:40 +0000
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