Two mad men (Akpos & Ochuku) organized to run away from a mental hospital, they started planning and agreed that they will go to the gate, beat up the watchman, and then they escape…. When they reached the gate, they found out that the watchman wasn’t there and the gate was wide opened they said “SHIT!! Our plan has failed lets go and come back tomorrow! A man and a woman walked into a guest house and requested to spend d night there. The owner of the guest house, Mr Ben, who is a member of MFM refused to allow men and women stay together in his hotel because of fornication. The woman explained; He is my son, Not my spouse and so they checked in. After 30mins, Mr. Ben sent his maid to go and check if those folks were truly mother and son. The maid came back and said; Sir, she’s truly the mother. The Boss asked; How did you confirm? The maid Smiled; Sir I am sure, I saw her Breastfeeding the Man. Akpors and his wife were in court for divorce. The problem is who gets custody for the child! The wife Jumps up and says; your honor i brought the child into this world in pains and labour, he should be in my custody. The Judge turns to Akpors, Akpors: (calmly)”Your honor, if i put my ATM card into ATM machine and Cash comes out. Whose cash is it? THE MACHINE’s OR MINE? Ambali: I don’t know why my girlfriend is not picking up her call. Akpos: Don’t worry my friend. Send her airtime… take one digit out and wait… Teacher: Write a sentence dat ends wit “Hand” Akpos: My penis in ur hand Teacher: *slaped him* Akpos:Oh m sorry i 4got 2 put a space beween Pen and Is… My pen is in ur hand Chichi: Do you smoke? Akpos: Yes…. Chichi: How many packs a day? Akpos: 3 packs. Chichi: How much per pack? Akpos: N200. Chichi: And how long have you been smoking? Akpos: For 15 years. Chichi: So, one pack costs N200, and you have 3 packs a day, which puts your spending each month at N18,000. In one year, it would be N216,000 correct? Akpos: Correct. Chichi: If in one year you spend N216,000 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at over N3,000,000 correct? Akpos: Correct. Chichi: Do you know that if you hadn’t smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now easily bought a brand new Range Rover HSE Sport?Akpos: Do you smoke? Chichi: No. Akpos: So where’s your Range Rover HSE Sport then? #One word for Akpos
Posted on: Sun, 30 Jun 2013 04:47:12 +0000
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