Two years ago today my life was forever changed when I got the dreaded phone call that George ended his life. The emotional rollercoaster began, knowing mom had only been gone 11 months to cancer seemed unreal that my big brother would leave, such a tragic death. He had so much going for him, so many people loved him......what happened, why didnt he call someone, why did he feel he couldnt continue, how could he leave us.....he told mom he would take care of us....NOTHING in life prepares you for SUICIDE!! The questions will always be there in the back of your mind, nothing will bring him back so I tell myself he is on his mountain looking over at us, watching from afar. I SO missed him at our wedding, holidays are never the same. The ANGELVERSARY of losing him are horrible its the weeks ahead, memories, pictures the emotions of just knowing how one split second decision affects your whole family, friends forever. I think of all the people who loved him and how he was such a good worker, learned so much from people that took him under their wing teaching him construction, electrician and he loved his jobs, his buddy, his family and friends. He may of not had a chance to be a dad but, he had so many kids who looked at him like a 2nd dad. He was full of life,loved hunting, he always was the joking, smiling and making someones day and would give you the shirt of his back. Oh how I wish he would of called one of us! PLEASE if any of you read this are sad, lonely or down know you are not ALONE pick up the phone and call! If we could only get the word of suicide out and not make families go through such a tragic loss!! I have been able to find resources, groups, Out of the Darkness walks, books etc. I never thought when I read at others funerals that I would be learning first hand how losing my brother to suicide would forever change me and now I speak out for Suicide awareness in honor of my brother George William Beil.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 12:05:20 +0000
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