UN FREAKIN REAL!!!!........Cindy was late getting home from work yesterday so right after supper we both nodded off with my promise to wash the dishes at some point during one of my all too frequent get ups during the night. I wake up a couple of hours ago and keeping my promise I come into the kitchen to do the dishes. I have not a clue as to how to load a dishwasher so I always opt for the dishrag and Dawn method. After considerable scrubbing of all the dishes (We had fried chicken livers if that tells anything about how messy things were) I go to wipe down the counters with the same dishrag I used on the dishes. No dish rag......Not there........Gone.......... Vanished. Now I know I just had the rag in my hand because I have a drainer full of clean dishes to prove it. I look in the garbage disposal to see if it might have fallen down there. Nope...... Not there either. Okay.....Lets just look in the bread box shall we?. Nope. Possibly under all the dishes I just washed and are now in the dish drainer? Nope........Fraid not. In the danged stove? (I couldnt remember opening it for anything but what the hey......stranger things have been known to happen.) Not there either. Okay......How bout the freezer? Negatory. Okay....HOW BOUT THE DAMNED KITCHEN CABINETS!!!!?......ALL of them!!! EACH and EVERY FREAKIN ONE OF THEM!!! HELL NO!!!! IN THE &$@#$*&$% MICROWAVE MAYBE? ..........*&^%$#% NO! NOT THERE EITHER!! OKAY.....HOW BOUT BEHIND THE *$&^#@ piece of %$#& MOLLY HUNCHIN CANISTERS AND CANS AND COFFEE MAKER AND ASSORTED JARS AND BOTTLES AND TOASTERS (AND WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO HAVE ALL THIS CRAP LAYIN AROUND HERE ANYWAY???????) AND OF COURSE THE ANSWER IS AGAIN NOT JUST NO BUT HELL NO IT AINT THERE EITHER!!!!!!!! Now......Does anybody have any idea what it must be like to be shaken awake by a crazed, wild eyed, out of control husband who is shouting something about a house being haunted because the resident poltergeist has resorted to hiding a $#&^@#$*&^ DISHRAG AND IF YA DONT BELIEVE ME JUST COME LOOK FOR YOUR DANG SELF!!!!!!!? No? Just ask my wife....She can tell ya all about it. P.S.......I found it but Im not gonna tell ya where it was just because I want yall to have just a small taste of what I went thru for a full hour.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 03:33:05 +0000
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