UNAEZA TOA MKALE UKALEINI LAKINI HUWEZI TOA UKALE MKALEINI Back in campus, the single most favourite past time for majority of male Engineering students was playing FIFA. It was such a heavy duty deal that a lot of money was placed into bets and quite a number of well organized leagues were born as a result. In late 2011, we started our fourth year of studies and with it, came the chance to live in one of the senior hostels. I got myself a space in hostel F which, save for the absolutely appalling state of the toilets, I thought was a decent place to live. Changing hostels meant formation of a new FIFA league. We were absolutely lucky to have the student finance director (Cyprian) as a resident and a roommate to our classmate Kevin. The guy had a whooping 62” of television and a monster home theatre. It was unanimously agreed that the FIFA face-offs would be hosted at their place every day after class. Cyprian was a man fond of comforts and style…..so as part of his room enhancing utilities, he had one of those automatic air fresheners. Hailing from Kambi kuku, I had never encountered one….and if by any chance I had, then I took no particular notice of their existence. So one chilly morning I overslept and missed an 8 am class. I thought it wiser to visit Cyprian before he left for his 9 am class. I found him locking the door. I convinced him to let me hone my FIFA skills as they attended class to which he agreed. So two minutes after I start gaming, I hear a “HISS” sound. I don’t give it much thought. Two minutes later, I hear another HISS. I am a bit startled as I begin wondering what in sweet Jesus’ name it might be. I decide to switch off all sounds from the computer just so I can be sure that it’s not a sound being produced by the “game”. Another two minutes, another HISS. By this point my tummy is aching in worry. Now as you all might know by now, my creativity can take on extreme dimensions and it did at that point. I looked around the room and right at the corner there was a bucket, a pink one I think, that was EVER closed. Kevin had on numerous occasions told me that it contained drinking water, but I doubted him at that particular moment. I mean, why the hell was it always closed? I remembered a story that some old mama had told us about her kisii people. I doubt it was ever true but at that moment it made very much sense. Hehehe. She had told me that wachawi in Kisii land kept B.I.G pythons in pots. Large pots. They would then send them to attack all those who they didn’t approve of. She had also said that, male wachawis always Kept beards. Now, all those who met Cyppy in Campus can remember his love for beards. He had a hefty bush on his face. Now here I was in his room, facing an ever closed bucket, which kept producing a HISSING sound after every two minutes. I was certain that he kept a python or something from the snake family in his room. I don’t want to say I hate snakes, but I’d rather lie on live grenades than encounter one. The thought of being cheered on by one as I played FIFA made my blood stop. Mama yangu!! Ilie mbio nilitoka nayo kwa hio room, Mtu aambie RUDISHA hakuna siku atawahi fikia. I didn’t even lock the room. Later that evening, as everyone else joined in for FIFA, I kept a very safe and holy distance from Cyprian. I could however still hear the hissing sound. I figured that the best move was to alert everyone – smartly of course – so that we could all join hands in killing the snake. So I loudly said “na hii hissing sound inatoka wapi bana?“ To which osoro casually replied “si ni hii marashi ya Cyppy. Nimemshow aweke ispray after every thirty minutes but haskii.” Let’s just say, had I been a muhindi, the pinkness emanating from my embarrassed face would have lit the whole room.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 12:14:53 +0000
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