UPDATE: “Thirty percent Mr. Black, thirty percent.” All physicians must walk a fine, sometimes indistinguishable line when dealing with seriously ill patients who face life threatening disease. Back in October, as she was switching my treatment from standard chemo to a newly FDA approved therapy, my doctor informed me of the results seen so far in documented research. If ten people were put on the drug, three of the ten would benefit. Believe it or not, that was a big improvement over the first therapy mentioned to me by a different oncologist back in the Spring. For patients with my stage of Melanoma, it was one in ten. But on that same day when we made the shift, my doctor’s next statement was one of hope. “But Mr. Black, if this works, it will reset your clock!” After looking at the insides of more big machines than I like to think about, we had to wait almost twenty four hours for the results. As my medical team entered the exam room, I felt the unseen hands of eternity brush the winding stem of the clock of my life. “Good news Mr. Black. Even though the radiology department is running behind and has not had a chance to read your results, we looked at them and it’s obvious! ALL of your tumors are shrinking!” To say I felt a wave of relief is one of the great understatements of the twenty first century. Am I out of the woods? No. I still have cancer. Melanoma is an insidious disease with many unseen twists and mutations that has frustrated more than one promising therapy. Has the Lord put me on the path that will ultimately lead me out of the woods? I believe so and for that I will be eternally grateful. I learned a few other things as well. The stiffness I feel after sitting for any length of time (I look like Grandma Moses walking up to my keyboard after Sunday Sermons) is a common side effect that will hopefully lessen once therapy is concluded. For the most part, the stiffness goes away in twenty or so steps but it’s virtually impossible for me to get off on a “running start.” Words fail to express my gratitude for all of those who have prayed (and I hope continue to pray) for my healing. In the last month or so, my prayer was reduced to a small handful of words. “Lord, shrink my tumors!” Simple and direct, it was (and is) a “cut to the chase” prayer that expresses the cry of my heart. The Lord continues to use this experience to teach me a great deal about myself and His nature. My tumors did not shrink because I “deserved” it by living some kind of ultra righteous life. The “sins that so easily entangle us” (Heb 12:1) are all too common in my life and require my confession and agreement with Him concerning them before His throne of grace. As important as the corporate prayer of a united body of believers is in the sight of the Lord, I also know His ear is attuned to the still small cry of the single child of God who calls upon Him from the secret places of life no one else can see. My testimony is this: Our request was made know to God who heard and answered. His answer was in accordance to His will for me in Christ Jesus. I give Him all praise for the expression of His power in my life and raise an Ebenezer stone (I Samuel 7:12) this day saying as Samuel did generations go “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” Samuel’s standing stone (an actual monument) was a testimony to future generations that served as a reminder to God’s faithfulness every time it was mentioned. You see, in Hebrew, Ebenezer means “Stone of Help.” Truly the Lord has been a “very present help in time of trouble.” (Psalm 46:1) The story continues. Another dose of unpronounceable chemicals courses through my veins. I will continue weekly blood tests, tri weekly infusions and periodic trips through big machines that whirr and thump in ways designed to annoy the helpless patient who slides in and out of them similar to a log in a sawmill. I’m just thankful my God is bigger than it all! Singing His Praises! Wally
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 16:39:56 +0000
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